Fading Like A Flower
by starnormand
Summary: Post S2. During the summer, Peyton & Lucas slept together in a heated moment. Result: a pregnant Peyton with no intention to tell Lucas, who's by now dating Brooke, about his unborn baby. What'll happen when the truth is revealed? LP. Completed!
1. Chapter 1

**Fading Like A Flower**

Peyton's golden spirals started to move as the slender blonde pushed her body up from her mattress. For a moment, she remained on her bed, with her long, toned legs hanging over the rim. The process of waking up was brutally interrupted when her now usual routine of nausea urged her to hurry towards the bathroom. The teenage girl hang her head over the toilet seat and what followed…well, let's say it didn't really make her eager for breakfast.

Tired and with an aching body, she pulled herself up and got dressed for school. _Damn it_, she thought as she watched her reflection in the mirror; going over the dark circles under her eyes; _I look like shit. _But she forced herself to ignore the fact that she looked like she had just been run over by a train- it pissed her off too much.

Yet it wasn't only the morning sickness, but also the tiredness and the sensitivity of her body-especially her breasts, which were visibly expanding. 'All Lucas' fault' she thought at times, mostly when she was in a dark place. Luckily, her stomach hadn't started to show yet, at least not to the public eye. Very slowly, Peyton pulled op the thin fabric of her tank top and stroke her slightly protruding stomach.

She hadn't told anyone about the life growing inside of her yet; not Brooke; not her father; not _the_ father…nobody. Why would she? Lucas was in love with Brooke and she was in love with him. Knowing Lucas, he'd do something he'd regret later and break up with Brooke and she didn't want him to; she put his and her best friend's happiness in front of hers, as she always had.

The only problem was that she was going into her fourth month. Seeing as it was halfway through January now, it wasn't much of a problem to cover her stomach up but for example, cheerleading; she had to quit the team. People would've noticed. Soon she wasn't going to be able to rely on the winter season anymore either, but all the more on the gossip that'll rule Tree Hill High.

She realized she had to get away as soon as possible; she had called her father yesterday. He told her he'd be back next week; so that's when she'll tell him and make plans to come with him to wherever he's going. She'll just tell her friends her dad forced her or something.

The blonde took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror one last time; with her wide rang of concealers and rouges she had cleaned up beautifully. Content with her reflection, she left the house and headed for school.

* * *

As Peyton walked the halls of Tree Hill High, she felt a jealousy creep upon her, a jealousy directed towards all the careless students laughing and joking all across. Ignoring her irritation at the easiness of their lives, she walked to her locker and opened it. 

"Hi, P Sawyer," the familiar raspy voice almost immediately greeted her. "Guess what day it is today?"

"The 'I-feel-like-crap'- day?" She sarcastically replied with a faked smile. Grabbing her history book, she shut her locker door.

Briefly, a thoughtful expression came upon the brunette's face, as if she was thinking about the possibility of it being the 'I-feel-like-crap' day.

"No," she then answered before continuing cheerfully as they walked towards their classroom. "It's Rachel's birthday, she just invited me…us."

"And you're excited about anything that has to do with Rachel since…When?"

"Since she's throwing her party at 'Temptation'. That's like, the_ hottest_ club around! "

"Tempting…" she said in a tone that suggested the opposite "but I think I'll pass."

"What? Why not?"

"I'm just… not feeling like it."

"Peyt…" Brooke stopped and put her hands on Peyton's arms "What's wrong? Lately…you haven't been feeling like doing _anything_."

"There's nothing Brooke," she tried to convince her but didn't really did a great job as she couldn't even look her friend in the eye while saying it "really," she tried to add power to her words.

"Then you should come!" She raised her voice stimulating. "It's going to be fun and we can finally get you out of these rags."

Immediately, Peyton crossed her arms, as if protecting herself.

"What is it?" Brooke asked as she saw her friend's unease and again touched her arm.

"NOTHING!" she suddenly screamed whilst slapping her arm away. "I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO TO THAT STUPID PARTY! WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?"

With those words, she raged into the classroom as a shocked Brooke slowly stepped behind her with almost dazed legs.

* * *

During the lunch break, Peyton placed herself in the corner of the refectory, with the intention of being alone. She looked down at her plate and hesitantly poked something that was supposedly a meat-dish. With disgust, she pushed her platter to the other side of the table; she couldn't even stand the smell of it.

nstead of eating, she just looked around; observing her fellow students but soon, that started to bore her so she pulled out her sketching pad and pencils. Her drawing resembled her earlier work: dark, sad and lonely. Caught up in her sketching, her body jolted lightly at the sudden figure plumping down across the table. Peyton briefly looked up, just out of curiosity but she wished she hadn't.

Lucas.

Instead of greeting him, she gave him a death glare and continued her activity. Her hormones were raging heavily today. They had throughout her whole pregnancy, but today, it was even worse; she sniped at everyone crossing her path of wrath.

"Peyt…" he looked worried "Brooke told me you freaked out on her this morning, and the morning before…and the morning before…"

"What's your point?" She asked without looking at him, what visibly irritated Lucas but he knew that a Peyton like this, this stubborn, couldn't be ordered anything.

"You just seem a little…off lately," he carefully started.

"OFF?" She hysterically screamed.

Lucas looked around him to see a few 'WTF'- stares.

"Calm down," he dared to stick his hand out and softly touch her hand. He just wanted to talk to her; help her with whatever she was going through.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" _It's you touching me that got me like this_, she thought. She stood up in a swift motion, picking up her stuff in one of the fastest tempos Lucas had ever seen. The poor guy didn't understand what was going on; he couldn't understand the curly blonde's frustration.

Lucas also rose from his chair. "Peyt," he tried as he chased her through the halls, outside "just tell me what's wrong, I want to be there for you."

"WHAT'S WRONG IS THAT NOONE WILL LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Hints of desperation sounded through in her voice, but mostly intense anger. Couldn't he just let her be? Or was it his intention to make everything worse?

Finally, he caught up with her and grabbed her free hand. His eyes stared into hers with sincere love and concern; he just hoped she would see how much he cared.

But instead, Peyton pressed her lips together in deep irritation, her hazel eyes glowing with pure rage. How _dared _he look at her like that? He had a girlfriend now and those kinds of looks were reserved only for Brooke, not for her.

"Let me _go_, Lucas," she said in an almost chilling voice.

"Not before you tell me what's wrong."

"I'll say this once more: let. me. go."

"Don't push me away, Peyt."

In a loving manner, he stroked her curl behind her ear but she stubbornly looked away before completely stepping away; partly because she was furious but also because she was scared he'd feel her bump.

When he again moved forward, with the intention of touching her _again_- Peyton didn't know _where_, but she did know she couldn't let him- the curly blonde took her sketching pad and hit him on the head. It was neither hard nor soft but what matters is that it did the trick: he backed away, giving her a baffled look. Had she just hit him with her sketches?

In his moment of complete shock, Peyton saw the chance to escape and quickly ran back into the building, disappearing between the students. She turned around the corner where she stopped and took a moment; this situation was getting more difficult with every day-no, _minute_- that passed.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: MaryYaYa, xobabiidoll, lovescole, brucas3, HeavenLee03, joeycreek9, Joise, DianaGlOw1, TuggyAngel08, LeytonTilEnd, othstewy, littlewhitelie91, iftheyonlyknewthetruth, LeytonLover4ever, truckcoff, LesandPes ; thank you all for the amazing reviews!

* * *

  
CHAPTER 2 

Her hazel eyes popped in appetite as she eagerly squeezed the ketchup bottle empty onto her Ben & Jerry strawberry ice-cream. _This isn't weird_, she convinced herself. _Tomatoes are vegetable, right? Yet some people say it's **a fruit**. And so are strawberries! Plus, it's all in the same colour range. Therefore, this is a perfectly normal combination. _Her attention suddenly fluttered away from her ummm…_special _creation to her stereo, which produced the synthesizer tones of 'She's got the look'. That's right, _Roxette_. She, Peyton Sawyer, queen of punk-rock, was listening to the epitome of 80's kitsch. Clearly, her taste in food wasn't the only thing that had changed; although the primary reason for listening to this kind of music was that it cheered her up; and God knows, she could use some of that.

While licking a spat of ketchup-strawberry sauce of her finger, Peyton turned up the volume up 'till the point that she could feel her floor vibrating. It was peculiar how one time she could be hitting people with her sketches while the next, she'd dance on the tones of a Swedish pop-rock-electro- _whatever _band (it was a bit hard to actually past a name onto this genre- it's the 80's, that means it practically a bit of everything thrown together).

The curly blonde knew she couldn't be disturbed tonight- Lucas, Brooke, Rachel, Haley, Nathan…they were all partying their ass off at 'Tempation'. Peyton, on the other hand felt completely at ease at home and her outfit also expressed that: she wore a tight, red tank top that brought out her curved tummy and a comfy blue pyjama pants. With her ice-cream bowl clutched in her hands, she sang along loudly, completely shut off from the outside world.

How could she have known, whilst singing with great devotion, that someone was walking away from her front door, with the intention of going in through the back? She didn't even hear her door open, nor did she see the blue-eyed man watching her as she danced with her back at him. But when she made a goofy twirl; the refreshing lightness she had felt just seconds ago, crashed and burned. An expression of utter shock came upon her face but the bewildered look in her eyes didn't even begin to compare with the one of the boy she faced. Apparently, he _wasn't _partying his ass off. After certainly a minute of sharing clueless gazes; Peyton pulled herself together and turned off her stereo. On her way towards the volume button, she took a wide, red shirt out of the hamper and quickly pulled it over her head.

_OK_, she thought as she faced the shocked boy. _What now? Should I say something? Do something?_ Even though her secret was now revealed, a very small part of her felt relieved she would now be able to talk about it with someone. At this moment, however, she mostly felt very vulnerable.

"Nathan," she crossed her arms under her bust protecting "What are you doing here?"

It took a moment before her question seeped through and even then, he was only able to produce separate word groups. He went to lean against her kitchen counter in order to not collapse in shock.

"I-I…not party…keep you company." He swallowed with a troubled look on his face before finally calming down. "I'm sorry…I just need a moment," he explained his reaction.

"More like a tranquilizer," she attempted to joke with a faint smile.

Nathan looked at her even more shocked, if that was possible.

"This _isn't_ funny," he said, completely appalled.

"What do you want me to say, Nathan?" she shrugged. There was no use crying over spilled milk; she couldn't keep torturing herself about this, it was something she had to learn to live with. After all, she had chosen to keep this child instead of aborting it, which she had seriously considered in the first few weeks of her pregnancy. It had been a class of PE that had changed her mind: during volleyball, one of Bevin's serves had gone straight towards her direction. Instinctively, Peyton had bended her upper body while covering her tummy with her hands. She realized then and there that she couldn't go through with an abortion, even if it meant she'd have to give up a part of her young life.

"I want you to say how-what, I mean, what, h-" he stopped and took a deep breath to control himself. After he had forced calmness onto himself, he fixed his eyes on Peyton. "You're pregnant."

The curly blonde didn't respond but just turned around and walked to her living room without any intention really; she just didn't want to be confronted with his demanding stare.

"Who's the father?" He asked further but the blonde preserved her silence. "You DO know who the father is, right? Do I know him?" He raised his voice.

"I don't know,_ Nathan_," she sharply answered, shooting him one of her fiery looks "do I look like a slut?"

"I'm sorry," he closed his eyes as he calmed down "it's just that y-" he rethought what he was going to say. The girl knew she was pregnant, no need for him to repeat it "how far along are you?" he spoke instead.

She turned her face back at him while she went to lean down against the arm of the couch "4 months," the blonde murmured.

As soon as she spoke out those words, Nathan's face folded in utter concentration; Peyton could literally _see_ him calculating.

"…august…" he whispered as he tried to recall Peyton's whereabouts that month. _She hadn't done anything really_, he thought. _Yeah, brooding on the beach, or at home, or at the River court together with Lucas_. With their numerous problems, the two blondes hadn't exactly been partying that summer; they had stayed at Peyton's or Lucas' place and often spent the night with each other. Nathan's blue eyes widened and slowly turned back at Peyton. It was Lucas', he concluded, there was no other possibility; they had been practically _glued_ together those summer months. But he would've never thought they had gone further than a bit of cuddling and hugging. Apparently, he had been mistaken. Severely mistaken.

"Is it Luke's?" He still posed the question, even thought it was unnecessary, but he wanted to be absolutely sure.

She briefly looked down, pressing her lips together troubled and slightly afraid. Admitting it, now, to him would make it all the more real.

"Peyton?" he urged her "Is your baby Lucas'?"

While tucking a golden spiral behind her ear, she looked up into his demanding eyes.

"Yes…" she softly confirmed.

"OK," he nodded with a thoughtful look on his face "Does he know?"

"No…" she shook her head. "And he's not going to either," she added with a stern voice.

Doubt and disapproval flashed over the Nathan's face.

"Nathan," she spoke strained upon seeing his expression. "_He isn't going to_, do you understand?"

"I can't …" he shrugged "I can't do that to him."

"Nathan!!!" She frowned in irritated anger, her index finger waving through the air in a threatening manner.

"He deserves to know you're having his baby!" He cried out. "You can't keep this from him!!!"

With quick, nervous steps, Peyton walked over to Nathan and grabbed his arm.

"Nathan..." her hazel eyes betrayed complete despair "you can't tell him."

When he didn't seem to give in, Peyton's panic started to rise.

"Please," she begged as a haze of glazy tears covered her hazels 'You **can't** tell him!!!" She screamed. "YOU CAN'T TELL HIM!" Her fists started to hit his chest violently. The thought of everything coming out; of all the trouble, all the hate (mostly from Brooke's part) absolutely terrified Peyton. "You can't tell him!" Tears rolled over her cheeks; leaving marks in the form of wet streams.

"Peyton…." In vain, he said her name, hoping it would calm her down "PEYTON!" He repeated louder while he took a hold of her wrists; he attempted to stop her but her small fists were still able to reach his chest.

"You can't tell him," she repeated in between sobs.

Suddenly, Nathan pulled her close against his chest, rocking her body softly. The intensity of her fists slowly weakened until her arms laid flatly on him.

"It's OK, Peyton," he soothed her.

The curly blonde cried uncontrollably onto her ex's blue shirt; all the emotions, fears, worries of the past few months escaping in the form of a tear storm.

"I won't tell," he eased her in her most vulnerable state "I promise," he added while stroking his friend's hair.

* * *

With her father's blue blanket wrapped around her frame, Peyton sat in the couch, her eyes still red from crying. A weak smile curled her lips as Nathan joined her with two cups of hot chocolate. 

"Thanks, Nate." she sounded grateful. Too grateful. _She must've felt so alone_, Nathan thought. "Look," Peyton started with her small hands wrapped around the greenish cup "I'm sorry I went all psycho on you. It's just, you know…" again, she felt the urge to cry but was able to suppress it by taking a deep breath "it isn't _easy._"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Peyton. It's OK." He looked at her seriously. "Besides," he continued "there will be no more outbursts of that kind; you're not going through this alone anymore; I'm here for you now."

"Thank you, Nate."

"You're welcome."

The two shared smiles.

"So," Nathan re-found his trademark smirk "Roxette, huh?"

"Dude," she playfully bumped against him "Shut up."

"_What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue_," he sang teasingly.

"Oh," Peyton scoffed "You're _horrible_, harassing a pregnant girl."

"_when everything I'll ever do, I'll do for you…_" he continued completely off-key.

Peyton looked at him briefly before pulling him into a tight hug, instantly changing the atmosphere.

"You're a good friend, Nate," she said. "I love you."

It was a simple but sincere statement.

"I love you too, Saywer. And I promise to be there for you every step of the way."

* * *

As you see, I've tried to take your comments into account concerning NP. I'm open to other suggestions too. What do you guys think, should I add some NH; develop their relationship? Or just LP? NP are just friends by the way, they love each other **only as friends**. Can't make that clear enough lol. 

I know there wasn't LP in this update but I still hoped you liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: I just want to thank all the reviewers; it's really great to get such an amazing response. I was a bit overwhelmed but keep 'em coming! ;)

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

With disappointment spread all across of her face, Peyton lowered her Gouda cheese sandwich. Even though she had made it herself this morning, she didn't want it anymore now so she moved onto staring at Nathan's sandwich. It was one with ham. She was kind of in the mood for ham.

"What are you having?" She asked less than subtle.

"Ham," he answered with his mouth full; resembling a caveman. "You want?"

"Yes, please." She eagerly accepted his offer before the two traded lunch.

A few tables in front of him, a certain redhead had her brown eyes fixed on the pair, who had become very close in the span of a just a few days. Ever since Nathan and Haley had broken up, Rachel had set her sights on him but now that Haley was out of the way, a blonde problem had come along. It drove her crazy! She subtly cocked her ears to hear what the two were talking about.

"So tomorrow, 8 o'clock …" Nathan started "What do you think it's going to be, a bo-"

He was cut off by the curly blonde who smashed hand in front of his mouth.

"Nate!" Peyton hissed. As she looked vigilantly around the refectory, she crossed eyes with Rachel who immediately looked away. "Great," the blonde sighed.

"What?"

"I think _Rachel_ heard you!"

"Peyton," he swallowed his food "she isn't a mind reader! Besides, we're all the way in the corner; no one can find out. If we continue to isolate ourselves like this, people are going to think we're _diseased_ or something."

"Well, no one said you had to do this…" the blonde pouted insulted but also felt a bit guilty for dragging him along into her antisocial ways.

"Look, Peyton, I meant what I said; I'm going to be there for you and now that you're dad isn't coming home for another _month_…" his voice sounded disapproving, even though Larry didn't know a thing about his pregnancy and so wasn't to blame. Nathan couldn't even imagine what would've happened if he hadn't accidentally stumbled across her secret; everyone would've found out in the delivery room.

"Dr Williams is going to be pissed I haven't told him yet," she said while nervously pinching a tiny piece of bread.

When she had gone to her doctor's practice about two weeks ago, for her monthly check up, he had given her an everlasting speech about how keeping something this huge from everyone was neither mentally nor physically healthy. Yet up until now, he had stuck to the protocol and preserved her privacy but Peyton knew it was with reluctance.

As the blonde looked up from her bread, she noticed Lucas entering the refectory. Her hazel eyes held onto him as he did the most random things, like picking up a platter or taking a glass but when he did it, it wasn't as random. The same way he made boring things exciting, he could make ugly things beautiful and change her sadness into joy. She couldn't really explain it but that's what he did to her. Nathan followed her stare which led him to his brother. Her aching eyes caused him to sigh.

"Just tell him you love him, Sawyer," he urged her.

"I'll tell _him_ when _you_ tell Haley," she shot back.

"This is _completely_ different;" he immediately defended himself.

"How?" She challenged.

"Well for one, I'm not _pregnant_…"

"Right, it's even worse with you, really."

"What?" He pulled up an eyebrow. "How?"

"You guys don't have to worry about a hundred-and-one things; you could be happy but you simply let your pride get in the way."

"You let Brooke get in the way, even though you knew he loved _you, _is that so much better?"

The blonde remained silent for just a moment before turning her head away. "Let's just drop this, OK?" Her voice dripped with irritation.

Nathan frowned as he saw her staring down with an icy look; fearing he had pushed her away.

"Are you mad at me?" he carefully asked.

Peyton looked up at him and couldn't help but smile at his adorable puppy eyes; they were like Lucas', only a bit darker. "No…Nate" she very shortly laid her hand on his cheek and smiled "you're the only one I have right now."

* * *

Lucas spontaneously shivered as he traded the warmth of Tree Hill High for the cold January air. To protect himself from the icy wind that blazed harshly down his body, he sank his hands and face deeper into his coat. With the vision of his mother serving him coffee and maybe -if he was feeling like it- some chocolate chip cookies, he couldn't get home soon enough. However, the image that suddenly caught his eye stopped him._ Peyton and Nathan. _

Being the most popular guy in school, Nathan's sudden, newfound bond with Peyton had immediately started up the rumour mill; implying that they were 'doing it'. Still, Lucas knew that his brother and Peyton were like water and fire: opposites that once had attracted each other, but couldn't anymore; too much had happened. However _now_, as he saw their closeness with his own eyes, a feeling of uncertainty crept upon him. _What if…_

Her relaxed body language reminded Lucas of the last time she had opened op to him. It had ended in catastrophe; with everything they had built up together completely destroyed and him waking up alone on a beach. His face visibly hardened thinking back.

_4 months earlier..._

The sun blazed her last rays onto the white beach, veiling the sand with an orange glow. At first sight, it was completely empty; there were no children, no noises; everything seemed to have retreated. However, deep into the twilight, at about fifty metres from the silver lining of the sea, a teenage girl softly laid her head onto a blonde boy's chest. In response, he softly ran his fingers through her curly hair.

"Lucas?" the girl looked up at him. "I'm getting cold."

"Wait..." he took off his sweatshirt and gave it to the blonde, who pulled it over her head.

Lucas stared at the beautiful girl who was drowning in his sweatshirt. Her laugh that wrinkled her nose, her imperfectly yet perfectly golden spirals, her green eyes, subtly speckled with orange-brown dots…he took everything in and not in a very subtle way.

"What?" She felt slightly uncomfortable at his piercing eyes.

"Do you ever wonder, Peyton? About what could've been? About us?"

He waited for a response and finally, one came but it wasn't exactly what he had wanted to hear.

"No." she firmly stated; backing a bit away. "That's in the past."

Lucas bowed his head. "Yeah..." he responded quietly and with obvious hurt.

Peyton looked at him, first with hints of regret but then plain annoyed. Off course she thought about them, every single day. No boy had ever touched her like him but... 'What could've been' was too late. Besides, everything had been going so well lately, why did he even have to bring this up? Why could he never just _let things be_?

"Ugh," she sighed annoyed. Standing up, she tried to brush the sand together with his question, off of her body.

"Peyton..." He followed her. He knew he was an idiot for bringing this up but it's not like he chose to feel this way. After all, she had come to _his_ territory to play on the swing. If 7-year old Peyton hadn't been so eager to go to the park, he had never seen her hence never fallen in love in the first place. So if you think about it, it was really _her_ fault.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?"

"To **you**?" He chuckled coldly, still chasing her through the sand. "What about **me**, Peyton? It wasn't **me** who ran away that night, it wasn't **me **who was afraid to commit! And it isn't **me** who's running away **now**! "

She turned around to stare at him speechless. "You know what?" she finally scoffed. "It **was** me who was afraid that night; but I wasn't the one jumping in bed with your **best friend**!" The blonde truly couldn't remember the last time she had been this furious. " How **dare** you put the blame on me?"

When Lucas looked into her eyes, he saw the very last remainders of the sun reflected in her hazels, glazy with tears of anger. "I 'm sorry, Peyton..."

"You can't keep doing this…" she wiped her tears away.

"What?" He shrugged. "Love you?"

"You're j-"

"Listen…" he cut her off "For the longest, I thought it was better to bury you know…_us_" he said while looking at her intensely "I figured maybe Brooke could help me forget but when she left and I kissed her, I realized she just …can't. I meant what I said a year ago. Brooke's great, but she _isn't_you."

"Don't say that..."

"Don't get me wrong, I do _care_ about her but Peyt..." A small, insecure smile graced his lips "…you're _the one_."

The curly blonde remained plastered to the sand while shortly biting her lip. Why did he always have to say the right things and why was she so defenceless against them?

Carefully, Lucas approached her; his hand hesitantly rose up to softly cup her face. His blue eyes watched her as she scanned his face slightly frowning. A piercing silence accompanied the curly blonde as she just moved her hand to stroke his cheek, almost waiting for some kind of sign that would allow this.

In that moment of serenity, Lucas softly captured her lips; slightly startling her. Slowly, he built up their kiss, loading it with electricity he could only feel with her; because of her.

_At least try! _Peyton ordered herself when she noticed herself completely giving in. She pulled away brusquely with fire and determination in her eyes.

"**WE CA**-"

Without even waiting for her to finish her sentence, he placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her roughly against his mouth, as if he ordered 'Enough.' His sudden change of posture made Peyton's eyes pop surprised.

"Listen to me…" Lucas started. He felt her chest rising and falling quickly against his body as she stubbornly looked away from him but Lucas didn't let go. Instead, he wrapped his arm possessively around her waist, causing her back to slightly arch over his arm. Since she still refused to look at him, he lead her eyes to his by softly pushing her cheek. "We've got something real here;" he said calmer now "I'm tired of dancing around in circles."

Softly now, he buried his hand back in her curls as his lips started to trail her cheeks, travelled over her mouth and lingered in her neck before moving to her collarbone. Feeling her shields weaken, Peyton hesitantly cupped his face and raised it to look into his blue eyes, estimating him.

Robert Graves' once wrote: 'True lovers don't say they love each other, they know they do.'

Looking into his eyes, **she **knew too. Softly, Peyton connected their foreheads. They lingered for a few seconds and brushed their noses sweetly against each other before Peyton pulled him against her mouth hard. Lucas immediately reacted; taking her along into deeper kisses and more hot-tempered touches until they didn't suffice anymore. Together, they sunk down onto the sand without keeping their lips or hands of each other.They briefly broke apart and exchanged stares before practically ripping the clothes that hadn't been removed yet in their way down of off each other's body.

Shortly after the sun went down, introducing a moonlighted darkness, the two collapsed together in the sand. Lucas pressed her firmly against his body but his grip weakened as he fell asleep. It was then when Peyton softly pushed his arms away and watched him sleep, at least for an hour, just thinking.

With guilt, fright for Brooke's wrath but mostly fear for losing their friendship, Peyton eventually decided she couldn't go through with it. She kissed Lucas softly on his cheek, stood up and went home. And cried.

_- End FB -_

"She broke your heart into a million pieces, didn't she?" A female voice approached him; but it didn't sympathise with him. Instead, it seemed to enjoy his hurt. Talk about cruelty.

Lucas' head yanked the girl's way; his eyes stabbing the redhead he now faced. Rachel had wrapped herself into thick mittens and a woollen scarf. _Apparently, also the devil can be cold,_ Lucas thought cynical. However, he didn't immediately tell her to shut her mouth or shove her psycho blab were the sun never shines but maybe he should've, because she had prepared a _speech_.

"But, hey, at least you were able to settle for my arch e-" she rethought her choice of words "for _Brooke_."

Although the sex kitten had picked up a thing or two about the triangle from hell, she was mostly babbling randomly; hoping she'd hit a weak spot that'd get her the object of her want. _Lucas would be able to pull that blonde away from Nathan_, she 'reasoned'. Rachel opened her mouth again to add some hurtful words. "But y-"

"You don't have a_ clue_ what you're talking about; I suggest you just shut your mouth, you _**bitch**_."

The redhead almost dropped her jaw before she suppressed one of her infamous smirks. Did Lucas 'goodie-two-shoes' just call her bitch?

"That's what you keep telling yourself, right?" she continued dramatically "You desperately hang onto this relationship but…It isn't the same, _is it_? She'll never live up to your little piece of _curly heaven_. Wait…" she intentionally stopped, throwing some salt into the wound she had created "..._his_ piece of curly heaven _now_."

As Rachel looked into his eyes, she realized she had given him an emotional smack down.

"You're crazy. Crazy and…" he thought of a word that'd describe her best "…_malicious_." Without any intend to listen further to what this mad girl had to say, Lucas walked away.

A thoughtful glance briefly graced Rachel face. _Now that,_ she thought about his scoffing, _isn't a good combination_.

When she looked up and saw the blonde was leaving her, she chased him, raising her voice.

"It won't ever change, Lucas!" she shrieked imperturbable. "_No one_ will _ever_ measure up to her but the other way around…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" He screamed through the wind.

"I'm talking about Nathan!"

"Nathan's still in love with Haley."

"What?" Seeing how the wind was carrying his sound away, Rachel hadn't understood him but she had heard 'Nathan' so she jumped in front of him, forcing him to stop and repeat. "What did you say?"

"I said that Nathan's still in love with Haley."

"Do you think so?" She suddenly sounded insecure but tried to recover as quickly as possible. "What I mean is… Seeing as he's always with _Peyton_, he's probably is over Haley, you know?"

Lucas briefly frowned at her sudden change of voice but didn't pay any further attention. Now that it wasn't about him anymore, he seemed to somewhat calm down. "Even if he was, Peyton and Nathan weren't in love as a couple so why would they be now?"

"I don't know" she shrugged "but I overheard them talking; they have something at eight tomorrow; a date, I guess." For once, Rachel was telling the truth; she had indeed picked up something about eight o'clock. "Oh, and I saw them make out by the bleachers this morning," she added. Ok, now _that_ wasn't the truth.

Lucas' face went from shock to disbelief over to sadness before he turned it away from Rachel with the hope that maybe, she hadn't seen his reaction. But she had.

"Look at you," Rachel pouted with fake pity. "All shaken up." She heaved a sigh too deep to be real. "Cheer up;" she continued "maybe she'll talk to you when she's dating your _brother_."

"What's the matter with you?" His eyes stared at her appalled.

"We can't all be like you, Luke," she answered "some people are just born bad."

"I don't believe that... You can't always have been this way… What _happened_, Rachel? Not enough _love _as a child? Or simply a low self-esteem?"

He continued to look at her with scorn in his eyes; so intensely that she couldn't take it anymore and looked away.

"Look at you," Lucas mimicked her. "A beaten, messed up pile of emotional misery."

His own words almost shocked him; he didn't know he had this in him; this meanness but she truly brought out the worst in people.

"Well," Rachel looked up; her brown eyes glimmering with a determination to fire back even harder "maybe _we_ could hook up then, I heard you like your girls that way."

As her body turned with a tragic swing, Lucas pulled her back by her arm forcefully. His icy eyes scared the redhead. She desperately tried to pull herself lose from his grip but like a fish eventually stops flapping on the dry; she gave up her useless struggle. The only option remaining now was look into the blue eyes that gazed at her so loathing.

"Don't you _ever _talk about her like that again." His tone betrayed that the following consequences if she did wouldn't be pleasant. He let his words seep through a few seconds before letting go of her arm. With contempt, he scanned her face. "Go away," he then ordered.

The redhead wasn't going to let him repeat that and gave The Roadrunner a run for his money.

When Lucas finally reached home, he could care less about chocolate chip cookies. He just went to his room, slammed the door and locked himself for a few hours, rethinking everything that had taken place. His anger towards Rachel slowly transferred onto Peyton. He had never 'bothered' Peyton about what she had done; he had given her what she wanted: to act like it never happened but now, because of that stupid redhead cow, all the hurt and anger had resurfaced. He needed an explanation from her: why had she left him? Brooke? Or was that just an excuse? After all, like Brooke had been in love with him, Haley still loved Nathan; she knew that. Maybe her words, all of it, had been lies. Maybe she had never really wanted or _loved_ him at all. But why Nathan and not him? If she wanted or not, she was going to give him some answers.

* * *

Phew... I've been a bit insecure about this chapter cause it's kinda heavy compared to the others...What do you think? 

BTW; next chapter there **will **be a LP confrontation so don't worry :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: I don't own OTH, or Moulin Rouge for that matter.

And off course I thanks all you guys for the amazing reviews:)

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

"_He'll fight for me."_

"_Yes. Unless he believes you don't love him."_

"_What?" _

"_You're a great actress, Satine. Make him believe you don't love him. "_

"_No."_

"_Use your talent to save him. Hurt him! Hurt him to save him. There is no other way. The show must go on, Satine. We're creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to love."_

Curled up in her couch, Peyton threw a cursory look at her watch. It was 6.52 PM. Plenty of time to finish one of her favourite tearjerkers of all time: Moulin Rouge. With a sad pout, the blonde bowed over to grab the big tissue box, knowing she was close to a teary outburst.

In some very inventive way, she identified herself with the character of Satine. OK, she wasn't exactly a 19th century concubine dying of tuberculosis but like Satine, she kept a huge secret from the boy she loved most _for his own good_ **and** would win the medal of honour in a 'fear of commitment'- contest.

Even though Peyton knew that this movie never failed to make her lose control over her emotions, she couldn't help but watch it anyway. After all, this was one of the greatest filmed love stories of all time. Her reaction to Christian and Satine's forbidden relationship had always been quite emotional but in her pregnant state, it was even _worse_; a substantial amount of tissues was piled up next to the blonde. After another minute or ten, her hand reached back into the blue box only to find it completely empty. As if it was the finished box of tissues that saddened her, Peyton began to sob even harder than she already was. During the more light-hearted parts, she calmed down and dried her eyes.

Just as midget Toulouse was giving a wonderful speech about love, a knocking on the door made him inaudible. Reluctantly, Peyton stood up. _Nathan? _She wondered. _He's way too early…_

Trying to follow the film on her way towards the door, she bumped into that stupid, plump flower pot Aunt Sandra had given her dad for Christmas last year. The irritated stare she threw at the poor plant was interrupted by a second, now impatient knocking. "Coming!" she shouted. Two steps later, when she had reached the door without any further problems, she swung it open.

Uh-oh. For a moment, she just stood there, gazing sheepishly at the boy in front of her. This wasn't Nathan.

"Luke…wh-"

"I need to talk to you, Peyton," he cut her off.

"OK," Peyton stepped aside to let him step through; her heart beat in her throat with increasing panic. What was he doing here? He didn't know, did he? Did Nathan tell him? Nervously, she closed the door.

As if he was searching for something, Lucas walked through her house, all the way to the kitchen and let his blue eyes scan every corner of the room before he abruptly stopped.

"Is everything alright?" she asked anxious.

"I don't know…" he absently responded. Was he going to do this? Open up yet again, to the girl who broke his heart three times?

"Did something happen?" Peyton shortly frowned. "You look sort of…" Insane? Lunatic? Crazy? "…_stressed_."

Lucas briefly paced the kitchen nervously before facing the curly blonde, who wondered what the hell was going on.

"I need to know why you didn't want me," he suddenly blurted out.

Everything stood still and for a moment there, Peyton felt like he had just beaten her with a sledgehammer.

"What?" Wh-"

"It's OK," he cut her off "I'm not trying to get together with you again but I just need to know..." Lucas shortly bowed his head before looking back up in her eyes "…Did you ever really love me, Peyton? Or was it all just an act?"

"Luke…" she sadly said.

"It's fine if you didn't but I need to know…for _closure_, I guess."

_Closure?_ Since it had hardly taken Lucas a month before moving on with Brooke, she had thought he had found his closure with her.

"Off course I did… B-"

"But what? You loved Brooke more?"

"No!" Frowning eyebrows, she shortly shook her head.

"Nathan then?" His tone grew more irritated.

"NO!"

"Just tell me the truth, I can handle it," he urged bitterly and with louder voice.

"But I AM telling you the truth!" Tears began to escape her eyes yet again as she desperately tried to get out of the mental corner he had pressed her in. "And I'm sor-"

"Yeah, it's a bit late for apologies, Peyton!" Biting his lip, he ordered himself to calm down. If she was telling the truth, if she would've loved or merely _cared_ about him then they wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. "You threw me away, Peyton, like what we had, like it all meant _nothing_ to you." His face deformed in hurt and anger. "I loved you and _foolishly enough_, I believed you loved me too."

"But I did..." she softly said. _I do_, she thought.

"Stop saying that!" The blonde boy ordered in an angry voice. "You left me… You didn't want me and that's fine; it's your choice and maybe I could've accepted it...I would've taken a while but eventually, I would've gotten over it. But NATHAN?"

"What are you talking about?" Peyton asked between sobs; trying to keep up with his train of thought.

"Oh, please!" he laughed coldly before yet again raising his voice "Just remember that he's the guy who **constantly** cheated on you, **wrecked** your car, wrecked **you** and never, **ever** understood what you are about!" He briefly stopped before adding: "So why him, Peyton? Why him and not me? Did I mean so little to you that after _all_ we've been through together, you're giving him a second chance when you **never** gave us one? **Why didn't you want me**?"

After his rant, Peyton stared at the boy speechless while hot tears continued to run down her cheeks; her hazels betraying a mix of confusion, hurt and guilt. For so long, she had soothed her conscience with the thought that he hadn't really cared after all because he had never brought it up again. She _had _to think that to be able to live with the way she had treated him. The question he wanted her to answer triggered emotions she didn't want to feel, yet alone explain.

Yet the way he looked at her, the curly blonde knew he expected her to at least give some kind of response but the lump in her throat prevented her. She just bowed her head and cried like...like a pregnant girl with hormones as messed up as her life.

"God, Peyton!" He began again. Why couldn't she just answer? She was in _no_ position to cry here. "Don't you have **anything** to s-"

At that moment, a tall figure cut Lucas off by sliding along him. The broad-shouldered boy remained standing before him, protecting the curly blonde like a mother-hen. It was Nathan, who – luckily for an emotionally beaten down Peyton- had taken the habit of coming in through the back door.

"Luke…" he calmly ordered "…back off."

"Nate…" he said in the same tone "this is something between _Peyton_ and _me_."

With his hand, Lucas tried to move his brother out of the way but he didn't budge. "Could you please step aside?" He asked while trying to preserve his calmness, which was getting harder by the second.

Nathan looked his brother, who was trying to get to Peyton, warningly in the eyes. "Don't."

"Get. Out. Of. The. Way." Lucas spoke in a threatening staccato.

"No…" his younger brother shook his head. Behind him, the cause of this all had taken a few steps back.

"STEP ASIDE!" Lucas now yelled. Enough is enough, damn it!

Still slightly sniffling, Peyton beheld the spectacle.

"Leave her alone, man…" the brown haired boy spoke with the same calmness as before, hoping to solve this peacefully. "She's going through a lot at the moment; you shou-"

"Don't tell me what _I_ should do!!!" he cut him off "You'd better keep yourself busy with your _wife_! You remember your wife? The girl who you've cruelly rejected, the girl who's been crying over you _for months_?"

At this, Peyton held her breath: attacking Nathan about Haley wasn't exactly a good idea. Unfortunately, her fear after Lucas' emotional assault was justified; it took hardly a second before Nathan balled his right hand into a fist and smashed it into his brother's face.

Like a dear in headlights, she saw how the two beat each other onto the floor, rolling from the kitchen onto the carpet in the living room.

"STOP! STOP! LUCAS! STOP! NATHAN! STOP! STOP! STOP! PLEASE STOP! LUCAS! STOP! STOP!"

It went on like this for another minute: Lucas and Nathan fighting like wild animals and Peyton in the background desperately screaming. When Nathan planted another fist into his brother's face, the curly blonde realized her 'STOP'- shrieking lead to nothing except for maybe a sore throat.

"I'M PREGNANT!" She suddenly burst out in an immense volume.

Lucas, who had just swarmed from under his brother, ready to attack again, looked at Peyton with complete shock in his blue eyes. No one dared to touch the silence; which weighed heavily onto the three teenagers. Nathan stood up but his older brother, completely aghast, remained on the floor.

"It's yours, Luke" Peyton finally broke it, gazing down into a pair of bewildered ice-blue eyes.

Without breaking their eye contact, Lucas stood up. A million-and-one question laid on his tongue and though he tried to, he couldn't even ask one.

"Nate," Peyton spoke to him "could you please leave us alone for a while and call…you know?"

He nodded almost invisibly and gave Peyton an encouraging look.

The blondes kept looking at each other as Nathan opened the door. It seemed like an eternity before he finally closed it behind him.

* * *

Lucas followed Peyton's movements as she placed two cups of coffee on the dark kitchen table. His gaze moved to her red cup and lingered there for a few seconds. 

"Mine's decaf," she quickly said upon noticing his stare.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he let the absurdity of the situation seep through. "I'm sorry…I just don't know how to do this," he justified himself.

"You don't have to do anything, Luke."

"What do you mean?"

"Look," she explained upon seeing his asking stare "The possibility of you finding out was always there, I've thought about this. When the baby's born, you can see him-or her every time you want, be involved in his life and everything but that doesn't mean anything else has to change for you. Like, I'm not asking you to suddenly break up with Brooke, or propose, you know?"

Lucas stared at her speechless; she was so practical about this. They were having a baby together, she was the mother of his unborn child; it changed _everything. _But he just nodded silently.

Somewhere, Peyton had hoped he would've objected to her air of distance but then again, his reaction had been what she had hoped for, right? Shocked at first, then accepting.

They went quiet for a while; Peyton bowed her curly head, just looking into the black fluid while Lucas fixed his eyes on the girl opposite of him. Inside his mind brooded a thousand thoughts until one beat out the others.

"Peyt?" he carefully spoke to her.

"Hmmm?" she looked up.

"If you don't mind, could I, you know…Ummm…."

A blush graced Lucas cheeks which made Peyton briefly frown non-understanding until it dawned on her: he wanted to see her stomach.

"Sure…" she smiled slightly surprised and rose from her chair.

Lucas head slightly moved along with her loose rock-shirt as she pulled it up. When he finally saw her pronounced tummy, he bit his lip affected. Peyton, who was staring down at her waist, didn't notice he looked away; the sight was almost unbearable to him. It was their child growing in there... How couldn't he have noticed this? All this times that she had skipped PE, been pale and nauseous, backed away upon his touch. How come he hadn't seen this? Why hadn't she told him? Had he given up on her too quickly? She on him? And the way she saw him …how she hadn't even expected him to show any emotions towards the life they had created together, he couldn't help but wonder 'What have we become?'

"It's kind of starting to show now…" Peyton said while stroking the indeed expanded baby bump.

As Peyton looked back up with a smile, she saw his head bowed, his hand covering his eyes; his body invisibly jolting. There wasn't one sound but she knew what was going on; she had seen her father do it often after her mother's death: he was crying. The sight of a man, a boy crying was always heartbreaking but this time, it was even worse because it was _Lucas_. It was the boy who had been her saviour for so long, the one who had given her hope and..._strength _yet now he looked so vulnerable and broken.

"Luke?" She walked along the table to him. With concerned eyes; she slid the tips of her finger under his chin, softly raising his head. "What's the matter?"

He didn't answer her but he didn't have to. When she locked her eyes with his blues, she read the question there that had been spooking through _her_ mind too: 'Where did we go wrong?'

Without saying a word, she laid her hand in the back of his neck, softly leading his head towards her tummy. Simultaneously, he wrapped his arms around her waist. There was an air of desperation in his movements; in the way he held onto her so tightly…Peyton closed her eyes as she felt his breathing relax; her touch calming him.

The massive intensity that their relationship carried had always frightened her, but not him. Never him. She… she was so _weak_, always afraid to commit. If only he had met another girl before falling in love with her. Someone who would've given him her heart when _he_ was ready. It killed Peyton inside to know she was the reason for his hurt.

In that moment, it took all of her power to not break down too but the will to be strong this time, for him, pushed aside her urge to cry. Her fingers began to run lovingly through his hair, softly fluttering on his skin. "It's OK…" she soothed.

She felt his grip tighten even more.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I know I'm getting repetitive but thank you all for the reviews! It's interesting to read what you guys think and I just really appreciate them over all. I also feel a bit honored that there are BLers who like it lol. Anyway, enjoy :)

* * *

**CHAPTER 5**

Although the streets of Tree Hill hadn't fully woken up yet, the Davis-James residence buzzed with activity. At the big, round table, a certain dimpled beauty was stitching away. Bowing over a sequined dark-blue satin, a brown lock fell in front of her deep-green eye; in her industriousness, she didn't even bother to blow it away. Just as her hand reached for the little scissors, she was interrupted by the sharp ringing of the doorbell.

"Ugh…" Unwilling to leave the table, Brooke screamed: "HALEY! CAN YOU OPEN THE DOOR?"

"I'M IN THE BATH!" sounded back.

"YEAH?" Her tone suggested she expected her roommate to jump out of the tub at once –possibly fall in her haste - but get up again and sprint to the door without drying her body or put on clothes, as that would take too much time.

"BROOKE!" The brown-eyed girl yelled in a disapproving voice. "DO I HAVE AN 'S' FOR _'SLAVE'_ ON MY BACK?!? **GET UP!**"

"Ok, ok…" she mumbled as she rose from her chair. Opening the door, the brunette smiled pleasantly surprised at the blue eyed boy facing her yet his image came with mixed feelings.

Up until a few weeks ago, Brooke couldn't have imagined anything coming between her and Lucas. Her insecurities about Peyton, _maybe_, but he had successfully convinced her - with his multiple speeches- about his love for her. Lately, though, since the same girl who was the cause for her doubts, had started to avoid her boyfriend, he couldn't shut his trap about her and her distant behaviour. His endless bleating about fake-Goldilocks often made her want to throw something against wall or rip out her shiny brown hair but since she loved him, she put up with it.

"Good morning…" She held the door open as he walked in.

Immediately after closing the door, she wrapped her arms around his neck. However, pulling him into their first kiss of the day, she felt he wasn't into it; his body seemed to be turned into stone, completely frozen.

"Is something wrong?" She frowned while lowering her arms.

"Yes," he confirmed. There was no point in dragging this on.

"OK," she took his hand with concern; leading him to the couch. "What is it?"

Patiently, Brooke waited until he was finished with his brooding, troubled stares at the light parquet floor.

"It's Peyton." The blonde looked up.

Hearing her friend's name coming out of his mouth for the thousandth time in two weeks almost made her sigh. He was getting a bit repetitive; she knew it by now: Peyton didn't let him in, she was acting cold…blablablayapyapyap…. This complaining had to stop! _She_ was his girlfriend, not _Peyton_. Didn't he know how tiring it was to live in her shadow? She wanted to be the one to walk in the sun; like Cyndi Lauper, damn it!

"Right," with a semi-sad roll eye, she looked away, hoping he'd understand and shut up about her. "Well, Lucas, if y-"

"She's..." he bit his lip; this wasn't something that he wanted to do but it had to happen "...She's pregnant."

Her head yanked back.

"WHAT?" She shouted out. After her screech, she briefly went silent, thinking about what he had just told her. "That explains the rags and the bitchiness… But wait…" she shook her head confused "Since when? Whose is it? Jake left _ages_ ago; she _hasn't_ been to Savannah and she _hasn't_ had a boyfriend since him. And as she's obviously isn't our Holy Virgin Mary, it has to be some guy's baby, right? Does she even know who the father is? " The brunette suddenly gasped. "Maybe it's Nath-"

"Off course it isn't!" he interrupted her, harsher than was his intention.

Upon his snarl, Brooke furrowed at Lucas, who bowed his blonde head. After her first confusion, she thought of another possibility, triggered by his reaction. The ways he had talked about Peyton after the summer, with coldness and almost hate; how _she_ had cut him out of her life, how they instantly looked away from each other when their eyes met….Brooke hadn't paid much attention to it since their disintegration had pleased her but now…she wished she _had_ thought twice about their sudden distance and nervous glances because it all started to make sense now. As the last pieces of the puzzle fell together, she slightly backed away from Lucas.

"_You_?" Her voice almost broke.

His face was soaked in guilt when he looked up at her.

"Oh, my God," Brooke gasped out. _This isn't happening_, she thought "You _slept_ with her?" Complete revulsion took a hold of her as she rose from the couch.

"It was during the summer," Lucas stood up to justify himself, as far as that was possible "we weren't t-"

"Well, **that** makes everything right doesn't it? _It was during the summer_…" she laughed coldly '**You certainly had no problems getting in _THAN_, did you**?"

His eyes widened. "Br-"

"**Quiet!" **She spoke to him like a dog and that's exactly what he was to her right now. A filthy, dirty, cheating _dog_. "**I thought you _loved_ me, that you were in love with** **ME**." Her voice had never sounded raspier, or _angrier_ for that matter.

"I w-"

"**Why** did you **lie **to me? **Why **did you _kiss_ me? The worst part is…I _believed_ you! You told me you loved me and **I believed it**! **You're a LIAR!** **What you said was a LIE!** **_Why_ did you waist your breath on me? ****You could've used it _banging he_**_r_!"

'Banging' wasn't exactly a word Lucas associated Peyton with but he wisely kept his mouth shut. He knew Brooke, stabbing with words was a way for her to deal with her hurt, and she kind of had the right to do so now.

'**Why did you tell me you loved me?**" she insisted loudly.

"Look…I know you probably won't believe this, especially not now but I wasn't _lying_, Brooke. I did love you, I still do. I…I just didn't know."

"I **don't** understand," her anger briefly took place for confusion "What didn't you know?" she asked. When Lucas wanted to bat his eyes down, she warned: "Don't." The blues immediately looked into hers again. Brooke knew he was trying his very best to give her what she wanted, but it just pissed her off even more. What she wanted was for him to not have had sex with Peyton. What she wanted was a best friend who wasn't pregnant with her _boyfriend_. "Tell me, Lucas… **what didn't you know**?"

"I wasn't over her and…" he briefly stopped; even to himself, it was rather hard to admit "I don't think I'll never be."

Slowly and without looking at him, Brooke let her body lean back against the wall, unable to believe this.

In one second, he had _trashed_ her world. All those months…she had been living a lie? A lie _he_ had convinced her of _over_ and _over_ again, nonetheless. It disgusted her, but mostly, it hit her like a stone brick.

An angry Brooke slapped, cried, _yelled_ like before but this, her meekness…It got to the point that Lucas prayed for a slap; just so he'd get some kind of reaction…Anything was better than this screaming silence.

"I never meant for this happen…" he lamely offered but it was the truth; it had never been his intention to hurt. Lucas Scott had an iron will...except when it came to Peyton Sawyer. It was the way her smile slightly wrinkled her nose, the fiery look that consumed her hazel eyes when angry, her concentrated frown while she drew, her laughter but also her sadness… It was all of _that_ that had made it happen.

Brooke realized that if _she_ would've never existed, her and Lucas…they would've been the best, most perfect, happiest couple _on top_ of being the best-looking one alive. Unfortunately, the blonde _did_ exist and just like her existence, she was _far_ from perfect. Her life consisted of shutting people out, emotional problems, dealing with death; dealing with _loneliness_…it was like Lucas had said himself once: she was covered head-to-toe in issues.

_Together_, Peyton and Lucas were even more imperfect: they didn't complement and they dragged each other along in their world of broodiness. Plus, they were both, like, _blonde _so that much for being the best-looking couple in the world. And maybe _this_ was the most agonizing thing of it all: she wasn't the perfect, bubbly, popular girl but…he simply loved her for who she was.

The brunette slowly turned her head to him.

"Get. Out." When he remained standing in front of her with a sad expression on his face, she yelled: "**NOW**!"

After the door closed behind him, Brooke slid down the wall until she simply sat down on the floor. It seemed her mind had gone blank, her deep greens looking into nothing.

* * *

"Peyton's pregnant and it's mine." 

Karen, who had been cheerfully shoving her cookie dough in the oven, popped her eyes in shock before turning around and head for her son like a Greek fury. However, Lucas had learned from the past and took a few steps back, causing his mother to slap the air in two. At this, she looked even angrier. _Maybe it would've been better to just let her slap me_, Lucas thought, _but she's got a pretty strong arm from all the foodstirring -and squashing._

Her otherwise so kind eyes bored into him, for at least a minute. "Sit down," she spoke sternly.

What followed was a one hour lecture, which varied from disappointment over to concern to the damaging of his tympanic membranes. Lucas docilely listened; nodding or shaking his head occasionally and speaking when his mother allowed or demanded it.

"So…" she finalized her plea "What does Larry have to say about all of this?"

"He, ummm…He doesn't exactly _know_."

"**WHAT**? You're telling me she's over _four months_ pregnant and her own father doesn't know?" She invisibly shook her head, whispering: "Unbelievable."

"You're not going to tell him, _are you_?"

"No," she answered while picking up her keys "Peyton's going to."

_O-ow_. She had been able to keep it from her father for _months_; _he_ had known it for what? Twelve hours? And already, Larry was about to be informed. This wasn't good. "I'm coming with you!" Lucas took his coat and hurried after his mother, who abruptly turned around, blocking his way.

"You're going to watch the café," she informed him about his activities the coming hours.

"But De-" he protested.

"Deb's shift starts in two hours," she cut him off; her gaze lingering on her son for a mere second. "Just **do** what I **say** Lucas!"

Merely seconds after she closed the door, the alarm went off. Lucas spurted to the oven and opened it to reveal a dark smoke plume followed by a tray full of carbonized lemon cookies.

"Damn it!"

* * *

_That didn't take long _Peyton thought when she opened the door and faced Lucas' mother. 

Karen's gaze lingered on the girl for a while. As she saw the blonde with a wide sweatshirt, like she herself had tried to hide her own pregnancy for a while too, her anger and disappointment melted bit-by-bit.

"Oh, Peyton…" Karen finally sighed out; her warm green eyes filled with pity.

The most painful thing to Karen was that her first reaction had been the same as Dan's mother: she put all the blame on Peyton because _that_'s the girl who was taking her son's life away from him. Yet now, she was more annoyed with _Lucas_. The fact that her son was with another girl during this pregnancy, as Dan had been with Deb, almost made Karen wish she hadn't missed that slap earlier. If Lucas had given her more details about their complicated relationship, she might have wanted to slap Peyton instead but since he _hadn't_, she sympathised with the curly girl who had just nervously invited her in.

In the house, Karen immediately headed for the kitchen so they could talk over a cup of tea; she had always found food to be comforting.

Once at the table, Peyton told everything from the moment she found out up until now to Karen, who was a bit amazed at the similarities between their 'pregnancy stories': there were lots of parallels, lots of loneliness. A whole end into their conversation, she brought up the reason she had come here in the first place.

"Peyton…" the brunette laid her hand supporting onto hers "you have to tell your father, honey."

Her hazels shortly gazed down her lap. "I'm scared, Karen."

"He has the right to know, you're his _daughter_," she simply replied.

"What will he say?"

"At first, he'll be angry, disappointed, and sad and _hurt_ because you've kept this for so long… but eventually, because he's a kind man, he'll accept it and support you."

Peyton nodded. When Karen kept staring at her, she hesitantly asked: "_Now_?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "Now."

Under Karen's pressure, Peyton got up and took her cell phone. While dialling his number, she felt as if she was about to climb the Mount Everest.

"Hi, sweetheart," a warm, male voice sounded at the other end of the line.

"Hi, dad."

"So…" he began when his daughter got stuck at 'Hi dad' "…not that I'm complaining to hear from you twice a day bu-"

"Because I…There's something you should know." The blonde bit her lip and threw a look into Karen's encouraging eyes.

"Off course," even though at the other end of the world, he felt this was serious and went to sit a bit straighter in his chair "you can tell me anything, you know that."

"OK..." she took a deep breath "I'm pregnant."

No answer.

"For four months now."

Still no answer.

"And it's Lucas'…"

A heavy burden fell off her slender shoulder. Now, Peyton anxiously waited for his reaction in a deafening silence. But it didn't come; there was only the dialling tone. Perplexed, she lowered her cell and gazed at Karen.

"He hung up on me."

* * *

Walking off the school ground, Peyton felt relieved: a whole school day and successfully avoided a now single Brooke. It had oddly enough been _Nathan_ announcing the -in Tree Hill High- heavily disputed break-up to Peyton. 

Yesterday, after Lucas had left, the brunette refused to come out of her corner, veiling herself in and hour-long silence. After having tried everything to get her to merely _say_ something, Haley was clueless and, in _complete_ desperation, had called her ex-husband. Maybe it was because he had the same blue eyes, or radiated the same goodness, but when he walked in, Brooke had finally shown a sign of life: _tears_. It took him a while, but eventually, he had been able to sooth the brunette and convince her that she should go lay down for a while.

The following hours, Nathan stayed at the apartment and talked with Haley about _them_: the tour, Chris, the divorce papers, the divorce itself …it had been long overdue but hopefully not yet too late...God forbid they'd end up like his brother and Peyton, who hurt another person like this simply because they're too stubborn, locked and _foolish_ to listen to their heart, although those three charming characteristics mostly applied for Peyton.

_That_, Nathan hadn't told the blonde. With her capricious hormones, she could've bitten his head off and spiked it.

Besides Brooke, Peyton also hadn't seen Lucas or Nathan -they hadn't had any classes together- and also during lunch break, they seemed to have disappeared. Bevin had later explained that they had been off discussing their strategy for the upcoming game against the Eagles. Imagining the banner, Peyton cracked a smile, which soon faded when she neared her car; her eyes falling onto a man -tall, impressive and light-haired- in the foreground of the cold, grey sky. With arms crossed like a commanding officer, he seemed to be waiting for her.

It didn't take long before the blonde realized who it was but …Had he flown in so fast? He must've jumped onto the first plane he could get; he was still in London when she called him yesterday. When Peyton stopped in front of him, she glanced hopefully into his eyes but her father coldly averted his face. OK, maybe she could've expected this but still, it hurt her; she hadn't seen him in over two months and now she received nothing: no smile, no hug; he didn't even give her the chance to greet him

"In the car," he ordered, refusing to look his daughter in the eye.

"But da-"

"**Now!**"

With a disappointed pout, she opened the car door to see _Lucas_ sitting there. Since this fact surprised her, she stayed in the opening for just a moment but it was immediately followed by a growling '**DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO GET IN THE CAR?**' Peyton quickly stepped in, slamming the door.

After a little but very dead silence, the curly blonde carefully moved a bit closer to Lucas to whisper 'I'm sorry' in his ear. Turning his head and looking into her apologetic hazels, he couldn't help but smile, even thought this really, _really _wasn't smile-worthy. He slightly bowed over her body to whisper something back; his cheek softly stroking hers as he moved to her ear. It was a simply touch but that didn't prevent Peyton's soul from lightly jolting. Instinctively, she laid her hand on his cheek.

With a cross of faint confusion and surprise, Lucas backed away from her curls. His questioning stare urged Peyton, who was a bit surprised at her action herself, to pull away. However, before she had the chance to, his palm covered her hand and slowly closed it in.

As she watched their palms press against each other, their fingers intertwine, a light sense of disbelief rushed over her. All the things they had done to each other and yet she felt they hadn't broken their bond, even though it certainly wasn't from lack of trying. Somehow, it was _still_ there; it had survived.

"I..." Peyton very softly began, gathering her courage "do you want to come with me to my ultrasound?" Immediately after she asked it, she added: "But if you don't want to, that's f-"

"I'd love to," he stopped her.

They softly, almost invisibly, smiled at each other.

"That is, if your dad hasn't killed me by then," Lucas added, but it was only half-jokingly; Larry was truly frightening right now.

"**No looking! No TALKING!! NO TOUCHING!!!**" suddenly sounded enraged from the driver' seat. The blondes froze and pulled away at once. **"PEYTON,"** he continued, not satisfied with their distance "**AT THE WINDOW!**"

The curly blonde wisely began to stare through the glass in order to avoid her father's hell-fire eyes. Instead, Larry's stabbing glances reflected in the mirror onto the male blonde, who just hoped to come out of this without any rake scratches.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N** Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

A swordfish pokes its prey. A python squeezes the air out of the lungs. A tiger grabs the throat in their jaw. And a Larry Sawyer circles around it with threatening posture before finally striking in ear-deafening manner.

"**HOW COULD YOU'VE BEEN SO STUPID?"**

Silently, the two preys, known as Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer, sat inside the predator's house, trapped on his couch like flies in a spider's web. Their blonde heads were unable to pull themselves away from the raging thunder overshadowing their seated frames.

"**YOU'RE LIVES _RUINED_ BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OFF EACH OTHER!"**

Being called stupid and basically, _horny_, and share those pleasant accusations with another person, who happens to be the guy you have a complicated emotional history with, is slightly embarrassing. Peyton's memory suddenly brought her back eleven years, to Jerry's, which is a small, very old candy shop. There, the blonde's little hand had been eagerly diving into Jerry the Seventh's candy jars before 'subtly' tucking them away in her coat. Unfortunately for little Peyton, Larry had noticed and immediately shot her a frown of anger, followed by a 'Hands off!' and in the car: 'that was very bad!'. Although the reason and gradation concerning her father's wrath was completely different now, she couldn't help but feel like a 6-year-old child again.

"Dad," Peyton softly spoke "pl-"

**"HOW DO YOU THINK Y-" **he completely ignored his daughter but was silenced himself, by a hunted knock. "Peyton," he ordered "open the door."

Peyton rose from the couch with the fear that on her way, her father would kill Lucas. The looks that Larry sent the 'impregnator' of his little girl were enough to -as the Rolling Stones would say it- make a grown man cry. Just as Peyton was about to disappear behind the corner, her head peeped around it.

"Please don't hurt him."

"Just **open** the **door**, Peyton."

When he saw his daughter's curls remained floating by the corner, he rolled his eyes irritated but gave in.

"I won't hurt him!"

After this confirmation, Peyton did what she was told. Upon swinging the door open, she saw Karen, who immediately walked passed Peyton and hurried to the living room with the silent prayer that Larry hadn't done something to her son yet. Yesterday, when she got home, the brunette had received a phone call from him; he demanded to know everything. The tone of his voice hadn't predicted anything good and when Lucas didn't come home today after school, it hadn't taken her long to figure out where he was.

"OK…" the woman hastily approached a more than displeased Larry "let's all just _calm down_ here…I'm sure we can work this out."

"**How? Are you Harry Potter? Do you have a magic wand to make it disappear? Or maybe you can _bend time_?**"

"**Larry!** I don't know _how_ but this …this yelling and the abducting of my _son_ is **not** the way."

"Abduct, abduct…." His volume grew weaker when he realized he maybe shouldn't have taken the teenagers hostage.

"They've been through enough, Larry..."

"_She's_ been through enough!" He snapped.

"What do you mean by _that_?"

"Your _son _gets her pregnant and than goes on **living his life**."

This pushed Lucas, who had been tired of the yelling and scoffing for a while now, over the edge. With obvious irritation, he rose from the couch and faced his verbal attacker. Larry didn't know _anything_ of what happened between them, who was he to judge like this? And did he think he was just going to let this happen? He wasn't a doormat.

"**Sit down,**" Larry spoke with eyes as squinted as his. Clearly, the fact that this blue-eyed boy was two inches taller didn't impress him one bit.

"What is it exactly that's bothering you, Mr. Sawyer? That she's _pregnant_ or that it's _mine_?" Lucas ignored his order.

At this, Larry grew, as far as that was possible, even purpler but he didn't respond. The two women beheld the sight tensed.

"Huh?" the blonde provoked.

"**BOTH!**" Larry blurted out. "Look," he continued more calm "up until now, I've always stayed out of your high school drama, but the way you've treated my daughter over the years…"

"Excuse me? I've been there for her more than _anyone_ and especially more than you!"

"I'm warning you, boy, you better sh-"

"**STOP IT!" **Peyton suddenly screamed. Everyone's attention yanked her way; startled expressions splattered across their faces.

"I'm sorry, OK?" she simply began. "I'm sorry that _you_," the blonde addressed her father "felt the need to travel around the globe even when you told me you'd stop and _always_ leave me alone-" her hazels shifted to Lucas; with every word she spoke, she grew more frustrated "I'm sorry that I fell for a boy who jumped in my _best friend_'s bed when I couldn't immediately give him what he wanted because I'm too…. 'complicated'!" she air-quoted "I'm sorry that _after_, I was so **stupid** to fall for him two more times- you'd expect I know better after the first time- what leads me to the next one. I'm sorry that I got pregnant and didn't abort it…"

Three pairs of eyes widened in shock.

Peyton's voice slowly began to break, tears welling up in her eyes but she didn't cry; she wasn't going to give them that "because that's what you wanted, didn't you, dad? Well, _I'm sorry_ that I didn't and that I'm now giving you a burden on top of the screwed up one that I am to you. To you _both_."

Her gaze remained fixated on the two men who were staring at her heartbroken. They would've said something, if they weren't flustered with sadness and guilt.

"But I don't care anymore and I'll handle this alone if I have to. _You_ go back to Brooke for the second, I'm sorry, _third _time for all I care and you can jump on the next plane to the Bahamas and I'll just go to my room…because I can't leave myself, right?"

So that's what she did: she stood up, went to her room and closed the door. Larry and Lucas exchanged saddened and ironically_, understanding_, looks before bowing their heads.

"Come Luke," Karen touched the silence with obvious disapproval for both men in her eyes. "We're going home."

"B-"

"Don't argue. Let her cool down and hope that she comes around."

* * *

Except for the muted whispers, the halls of Tree hill went completely upon the entrance of Peyton Sawyer. In one day, the news of the blonde's pregnancy had reached the whole school population. Everyone knew it by now: she was knocked up by her best friend's boyfriend. Slut, skank and bitch; that what she was called now, although 'backstabber' and 'cheater' had quickly become popular pet names as well. It was hard, but the fact that she had verbally slapped her father and Lucas in the face, chasing them away, weighed heavier on her right now. Trying to ignore the rustling around her, Peyton stared into her locker as if she saw a treasure there; her books silver coins. Yet suddenly, an aggressive hand closed the metal door with a smash. 

"Hi, slut."

_ Great_.

Immediately, a crowd gathered around Brooke and her now ex-best friend.

"Please, just leave me alone now," Peyton whispered; hoping to avoid a scene. "You can do this later but please not in front of e-"

"Why don't you **show** it?" She spoke louder. The panic in Peyton's eyes didn't touch her. "Pull up that rag and show us the result of your _sluttiness_."

All eyes in the hall were fixated on the two, as if they were actually expecting Peyton to do what she was told.

'Brooke…" Haley came behind the brunette, taking her arm "that's _enough_."

"You know?" Brooke pulled her arm lose from Haley's grip "I'm actually sorry for that child, with such a _bitch_ of a mother and a cheater as a father. It'll be as screwed up as you are."

_Ignore, ignore, ignore, _Peyton repeated in her head. When she eventually managed to shut her mouth in stead of firing back, Brooke scoffed: "Come, Haley." With that, she turned around and began walking until she noticed her roommate wasn't following.

"No, Brooke," Haley shook her head.

The brown-eyed girl knew the pain Brooke was going through right now and vending it was alright, just not in this manner. And this is where the roommates differ when they're hurt or angry: Brooke Davis goes into attack-mode, Haley James silently ignores. So in that moment, the two didn't understand each other one bit.

Slowly but surely, she stepped backwards until she stood next to the blonde. Utter bewilderedness flushed Brooke's face but she got herself together and continued walking. As soon as the brunette had disappeared, the students lost their interest and went their own ways.

The two girls just stood in the hall, Peyton gazing bewildered at the blank spot where a moment ago Brooke was standing until Haley turned her head at the blonde and shot her a sympathetic, almost pitiful, smile.

"Let's go to class," she said while laying her arm over Peyton's shoulder.

* * *

Upon arriving home, the smell of blueberry muffins tickled Peyton's sense of smell. As she turned her head around the corner, she saw her father by the oven in an apron, making a peace offer in the form of little cakes. When Larry noticed her, he carefully smiled but his daughter didn't return it. He could see she wasn't mad, though. 

"We need to talk," she said.

"I agree." He nodded and took of his apron.

* * *

About two hours later, Peyton was going through her wardrobe and her records, deciding what to bring along and what not. Casually, she threw a bunch of leather jackets, sneakers, rock-punk albums and off course, _Roxette_, on her bed. The decision that she had finally made this day would surely make her life easier. A Ramones shirt flew through the air just as someone knocked on her door. The blonde tip-toed through the mess and opened the door. 

"Hey," she greeted timidly. It was a bit awkward facing each other after her outburst yesterday but at least he had come back, although that didn't really matter anymore.

"Hey."

"Look, Haley told me about what Brooke said an-" his blue eyes looked over her shoulder and scanned the room with a growing frown. "You're packing?"

He slipped through the small opening and stared around him at the incredible jumble of clothes and music but one thing especially caught his eye: a suitcase under what appeared to be, among others, her black Ramones shirt. He loved that shirt. She had worn it the first time they talked.

"I was going to drop by later to tell you," Peyton tore his attention away from the memory.

"Tell me what?" he had a vague idea but it couldn't be that, she wouldn't do that to him. Not again.

"My great-aunt Rose; she's like the sweetest old lady you'll ever meet and she lives near Lake Geneva. OK, Wisconsin isn't exactly the centre of the world but it's absolutely beautiful there…" she smiled at Lucas, who was completely speechless "and before you say something, this isn't just a whim; I've been thinking about this for a long time. I have even talked about it with my doctor but up until yesterday, as long as no one knew, there was really no reason to leave. Now…the things are a bit different."

"Leave? For a few days, right?" he nodded, as if that would assure an affirmation.

"No, Luke." When she saw his perplexed, increasingly angered face, she added: "Dr Williams thinks it'll be good for me, and the baby off course. There's no stress; no one knows me there."

"Did you're father put you up to this?" he asked with a sudden fire in his eyes "He can't do th-"

"I decided this all by myself. The confirmation of my plane ticket is there." She pointed at her cluttered desk. "I'm leaving on Friday."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So...I know Brooke was kind of mean but we've all seen how she was when Peyton only kissed Lucas and now she's having his baby. I think her reaction is quite realistic. As for Larry, a bit less realistic lol but I had fun writing that part. And off course Peyton...will she really leave:p Anyway, tell me what you think. 


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! I loved reading everyone's reactions to especially _Brooke_. I was a bit worried about that one, she was bitchy! lol Anyway, I hope you like this one. Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

People say the bumps in the road make life, _love_, interesting but the only thing they've ever done for Lucas is making him lose Peyton; she flew out of his metaphorical car somewhere down the road. He couldn't help but wonder if she had opened the car window and _jumped_ out on purpose. Maybe she never had wanted to be together in the first place and if she had… then why was she always running away from him? Off course he could tell her he loves her and that he needs to be with her but putting his heart on the line, _again_, only to have it shattered wasn't a very pleasant vision.

"But the baby…" he spoke instead.

"It's still over four months Luke. We can work something out," she paused a moment "You won't be like your father."

Somewhere, he had hoped that she would've prevented him from seeing their child; at least then he could've demanded her to stay. Quite frankly, a big part of him was a bit tired of always begging or, ironically enough, taking _baby_ steps with her. Things shouldn't be this difficult when two people were drawn together like a magnet and a box of nails from the moment they locked eyes.

"NO!" he firmly said.

"Please don't make it harder than it already is."

"**You**'re finding this hard? You're doing a good job of hiding it, then! This is priceless …" he rolled his eyes "tomorrow ultrasound, the day after _Wisconsin_. You know, Peyton, that drawing" he pointed to her red wall "needs urgent renewal. It should be '**I** always leave'."

The thing that bothered him was that she must know his objections weren't just about the baby…She must know he loves her; she was just _choosing_ to live with eye patches.

"**You have to stay!**" he insisted.

"Why?"

"Because…" _I love you, I **need** you _"Because you have to…"

"I'm sorry, Lucas."

With the knowledge that if she'd look at him one second longer, she'd cry, the blonde turned her back at him and put another shirt in her suitcase. In a whim, Lucas took a step forward but got stuck in the middle, turned around and left.

* * *

"Oh my God," Nathan mumbled. _It looks like a small but powerful bomb exploded here_. 

As he walked through the clutter, an empty tissue box- _God knows how many of those she has sobbed through_- caught his eye. Not far from the box, he saw a hardcover decorated with a girl who was coloured in the shades of the French banner, lying on the floor.

"What's this?" he asked. "Like…" he stared at the book non-understanding "I don't know how to pronounce this…Move," he ordered upon reaching her bed.

"It's _Les Misérables_," she answered while shuffling to the left to give him some space "Lucas gave it to me when kind of…well, snuck around. You translate it 'the miserable ones'."

Nathan grabbed a pillow and put it behind his back.

"He gave you a book called 'the miserable ones'? _That_'s romantic."

When he put the story down between them, Peyton put her ice cream bowl on the nightstand and picked the book back up. Softly, she turned the pages and stared at what had made her cry in the first place: it wasn't the loneliness and confusion of the protagonist Jean Valjean or Victor Hugo's phenomenal writing. It was the little notes Lucas had made in the margin whenever he liked a part, or just a certain sentence, which he would be sure to quote from if the appropriate situation occurred. This book was drained with his inner thoughts, his emotions and his touch.

"No…" she cracked a faint smile yet the gesture didn't express happiness "That's _Luke_." Her voice broke a little upon the mention of his name.

Nathan looked at her with hints of pity yet disapproval "Peyton..." he began "What are you doing?"

"He_ really_ can't keep a secret, can he?"

It had only been an hour since he left and obviously, Nathan already knew.

"He thinks that you're leaving because you don't love him," the brunette boy ignored her question. "He said: 'what's the point'. Honestly," Nathan shrugged "I can't blame him. There's only so much a person can take."

For a moment, a hurt look appeared in her eyes but she sternly replied: "It's for the best."

"No, it _isn't_." Damn this girl was persistent. "You have to tell him you _do_ love him."

"Yes…because that always works out so well." She swung her head his way "Nate…just look at where love brought me: pregnant in bed with 'boy formerly known as Howard Hughes II'."

"Who's Howard Hughes?"

"The guy that produced Scarface. At the end of his life, he was this crazy hermit."

"Oh…" When her words reached his brain, he pouted insulted.

"But that's not the point," she continued "What is, is that before Haley and Lucas, we were _perfectly_ fine. No pain, no babies, no week-long _isolation _from the outside world."

"Really boosting my self esteem here, Sawyer."

"But you know I'm right."

"If it weren't for them, we would've never known love."

A surprised frown crept in Peyton's brows. The change Nathan had gone through the past year was certainly positive but this was an extremely cheesy, could-be-said-in-Bold & the Beautiful- remark.

"You're outfit isn't working," she softly shook her curls "You miss a diaper and a crossbow."

"What?"

"To properly play Cup -"

"Stop" he raised his voice " This isn't a joke! I don't understand why are you being this stubborn!! You need to let him how you _feel _or else it'll be **too late! You'll NEVER forgive yourself!**"

_Uh-oh_, Peyton thought. _Outburst_. With all her problems, she had forgotten Nathan had his share too.

"So…" the blonde carefully spoke to Nathan's bowed head "how are you and Haley?"

A sigh escaped from his lips. "I don't know…" he shrugged and faced her "We have a date on Saturday b-"

"That's great, Nate…"

"Yeah…but…It's just…like I feel we can never go back to the way we were, you know? It doesn't feel the same… And that's what I've always admired with you and Luke."

"What?" she frowned.

"Do you remember when I was so jealous of him, when we were still together?"

"Yeah…"

"And how Brooke was always so insecure when she was with Lucas? Because of you?"

"Nathan…What does that have to do wi-?"

"It's because everyone can see you guys have something really… _unique_. Something that always finds you even though especially _you_," he shot her a disapproving glance "always hide from it and that's what so special. It's constantly there and I just think that if you and Luke can't go back, with what you have, who can?" he finished. His eyes were piercing the blonde, who had bowed her head.

"It's weird, isn't it?" her hazels looked up in his.

"What?"

"I think the same thing about you and Haley."

They both turned their gaze at their feet; life in Tree Hill was complicated.

"You know Rachel's been hitting on me?" Nathan suddenly said. He had briefly hesitated bringing this up but they were all open and talkative here so…what the hell?

"Seriously?"

The redhead was one of the persons who had surprised Peyton the most: there were no harsh words, no insults; she had been very kind. However, what the blonde didn't know was that Rachel felt a bit guilty because of her 'conversation' with Lucas and tried to redeem herself by being an angel towards Peyton.

"Yeah…and she's actually kind of cool once you get to know her," Nathan continued. "She's light-hearted and you know, with her crazy remarks she makes me forget…the _bad_."

Her hazel eyes widened a bit; it was the first time he actually spoke about Rachel without scoffing. Who knows… maybe soon there'll be a Haley-Nathan-Rachel love triangle? Quickly, Peyton suppressed that unsettling thought. Love triangles are the _devil_.

"Alright…I got to go now," Nathan stood up. "It's Wednesday, mum wants me to spend some quality time with her."

"OK…" The blonde watched him walk the door "Have fun!" she shouted lightly mocking when he left her room. Peyton knew he didn't really enjoy the Wednesday dinners with Deb; he constantly worried about the amount of alcohol his mother poured down her throat and when she would go to the kitchen to, for example, get a glass of water, Nathan quickly lifted her plate to see if there weren't any pills.

His head briefly peered back around the door. "_Good luck_." Obvious Nathan expected the blonde to talk to his brother. Although her suitcase was already quite full, he was pretty sure she wouldn't leave; Peyton had just always been very impulsive, also during their relationship. The times she broke with him only to get back together the next day were countless.

When he had disappeared, Peyton took the book in her hands for the third time this evening, thinking about what Nathan had said. His words, together with Lucas' written ones made it inevitable: hot tears began to run down her pale skin once again.

"Peyton, I kind of messed up in the kitchen," sounded from the hall "so I'm getting Chinese, what do you w-"

Reaching her room, Larry saw his daughter cry and joined her on the bed.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't know what to do!" the blonde sobbed.

"Well, sweetheart…Things do tend to become a bit complicated when you get pregnant at seventeen," he finely pointed out.

Her glazy eyes looked up startled at her father. Why didn't he pity her?

"There's no use crying over irreversible things," he lightly shrugged "If you're in situation you aren't happy with, you should try to make it better and take matters into your own hands."

"B-"

"That's just the way life works, Peyton. For some it goes smoothly, others have to battle through. And we: me, Karen… _Lucas_…" he spoke out that last one with slight difficulties "we can all be there for you but in the end, you're the only one who can help yourself. Truthfully, up until know, you've done a poor job with that and you know what I think about Aunt Rose…" He stared pedantically in her eyes "In my opinion, you've ignored your problems long enough; it's time to step up and face the consequences of your actions. _Yes_," he admitted "that may turn out difficult and painful but if you keep running away every time something doesn't go the way you want, eventually…you'll have no one or nothing left to run to."

Thoroughly, Larry studied the change in his daughter's hazels; he could literally _see_ his words seeping through and gave an extra push.

"We're Sawyers," he softly bumped against her arm "we don't break down with every little" _or growing_, he thought inside "stumbling block. We get stronger."

With a pout, Peyton laid her head on his chest. He was right…she knew he was. For the past year, her life had been controlled by Brooke or anxiety. Even though that _no matter what_, she will **always** love the brunette, her father's words made her realize she couldn't keep sacrificing her happiness or live in fear for what might happen. It had cost her too much already.

"Dad?" her eyes looked up at him after a second or thirty "I think I've rushed in to things…"

"I think so too…You'll stay here with me," he decided with a smile and stroked his daughter's curly head "…but you know I'll lock you in your room until everything is spick and span again."

"I know…" the blonde wrapped her arms around Larry, who felt slightly proud of having got through to her.

In less than five minutes, Peyton's priority had shifted from hiding her problems to learning how to respect and love her _own_ person again, for herself and for her baby.

* * *

His mother's voice brought him out of his sleep bit by bit. Softly, Lucas' eyelids fluttered open. When he threw a cursory look on his alarm clock, eight o'clock, he got slightly annoyed: hadn't he told her he had a free period? There were at least twenty minutes left to sleep. Besides, he didn't want to wake up and face reality right now. It was too harsh. 

"It isn't time yet!" he grumbled while turning away from the sound source.

"There's someone here to see you."

"Hi," an all too familiar girl greeted.

His blue eyes widened at once. Where had he left his shirt yesterday? Quickly, his hand shot to the floor, feeling beneath the bed but he couldn't find the red piece of clothing so he just pulled his sheet more over his body. _Why_ did he only sleep in boxers?

As the blondes locked eyes, Karen announced she'd let them talk and left.

"You know I've seen you with fewer clothes on than that," Peyton pointed out.

"A lot has changed since then," her responded quite coldly.

"Yeah…"

"Why are you here?" he asked bitterly as he stood up from his bed "_An early goodbye_?"

With his back turned at her, he started to go through his wardrobe without really looking. The curly blonde couldn't help but fix her eyes on his body even though there were really _far_ more important things going on now than his chest or the curve of his back. Primal instinct and hormones, right?

"I'm ummmm…" She turned her red-like-a-beet head away from him to concentrate on what she came for "I'm not leaving after all…"

Immediately, he looked over his shoulder before completely turning around. "What?"

"Lucas…" her eyes were still looking away "you're right, a lot has changed since then, could you please put on a shirt and ummm…_pants_?"

A faint smirk rushed over his face but he quickly did what she asked him to. "But you're staying?" He tried to somewhat hide his enthusiasm but his voice sounded adorably pleased.

"Yes…you know me, I'm difficult," she faced a fully dressed Lucas and shrugged "I'd probably give that old lady a heart attack."

"We wouldn't want that to happen," he spoke and closed their distance.

Softly, Peyton shook her curls. "No".

Bashfully, she looked into his blues; this had actually been harder then telling she was leaving. However, the fact that he was playing along made her feel more at ease. Off course Lucas knew her Aunt's heart wasn't the reason, but he decided not to scare her away again by digging further. Still, he couldn't help but ask:

"Where does this leave us?"

His hand rose to her cheek and softly cupped it.

"I don't now but…I could use a friend right now; I kind of have little left."

It was true: together with Brooke, the whole cheer squad had dropped her like a stone brick except for Haley and Rachel then.

"Friends?" he asked sceptical. In her voice, Lucas heard the same doubts _he_ had with them being friends: eventually, just friendship wouldn't suffice; it never had. "OK," he then nonetheless answered. "For n-"

Before the boy realized what was happening, Peyton wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. Slowly, Lucas followed her example and slipped his arm around her waist. The fact that their hug took up more of his arm then it used to, touched him. While closing his eyes, he softly rested his hand in her neck.

As Peyton stood there, in his touch, she couldn't help but think back about Nathan's words. How he had basically said that he and Haley weren't the same because they hadn't told each other what they felt; because they had let things drag on.

"And I _do_ love you" she whispered, before it was too late.

Although she couldn't see it, Lucas smiled. Sure, her sudden change of heart had surprised him but he wouldn't doubt: she was staying, that's all that mattered. And she loved him...

* * *

I know, a lot of Nathan/Peyton but I really love those two together, it's the easiest friendship to write. So, tell me what you think!  



	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Again...thanks for the reviews, I always look forward to reading your thoughts. :)

* * *

**CHAPTER 8**

Beneath two attentive pairs of eyes, Dr Hanson softly rolled his chair to the white shelf behind him and took what seemed to be a gel. The ultrasonographer sent the blonde teenager laying in the chair a reassuring smile and began to spread the transparent stuff on her abdomen.

"Are you comfortable, Ms Sawyer?" he asked when Peyton lightly scrunched her nose.

"Uh…Yes," the blonde answered with a blush. This was her second ultrasound but that didn't mean she now liked the gooey and wet feeling on her tummy.

While Peyton continued to stare down at her stomach, Lucas watched the doctor take a transducer; this is the instrument that would pick up the baby's image. When Dr Hanson began to move it over her tummy, Peyton slightly stuck out her hand. Lucas glanced at it shortly, unsure if she wanted him to take it but nonetheless, he wrapped her hand in his much rougher one. Peyton turned her head a bit surprised and smiled at him before both pointed their attention on the display, waiting as Dr Hanson searched the heartbeat. Just when the blondes began to worry, a steady pulse sounded. On the screen, a bean-like form, what the doctor said was the baby, appeared. Although her previous ultrasound had been two months ago, it surprised Peyton to see how much her baby had grown since then.

Lucas bowed slightly over the blonde to get a better view. A strange feeling rushed over him; a cross of joy, adoration yet also hints of fear: it was real before but now it felt hundred times more real. Since he seemed a bit perplexed, Peyton softly tugged his collar.

"Is everything OK?"

Lucas nodded and smiled. As he locked their eyes, his fingertips lightly ran over her cheek to eventually disappear in her hair. Although they -or better _Peyton_- had decided to be friends, the curly blonde didn't look away from the piercing blues, while she knew those intense gazes of his always lead to a kiss. Or in her case, a pregnancy. Her heart began to pound anticipating when Lucas came closer with every intention to connect their lips; Peyton's rationality was nowhere to be found as this point. When his face was less than inches away, she closed her hazels and rested her hand on his cheek, softly stroking his skin with her thumb.

"Do you want to know the baby's gender?" Dr Hanson broke their moment as he finally looked away from the ultrasound machine.

A reddish blush rushed over their cheeks while they ripped apart but after their heads had gained their normal colour back, the two responded simultaneously:

"Yes."

"No."

With a furrow in her brow, Peyton glanced back at the blue-eyed boy.

"You don't want know?"

_I thought you had enough surprises lately_, she thought but wisely didn't say.

"No. I don't think I do," he addressed the doctor. Off course he knew, just like Peyton did, that he was very curious: spying on his father and staying put in the Sawyer's residence until he knew what exactly was going on between Peyton and Nathan were the finest examples of that but it seemed nicer not to know until he _or she_ was born.

"I'll give the documents along with Ms Sawyer," Dr Hanson replied with a kind smile.

* * *

With a still lingering smile, Lucas headed to the kitchen, where he knew his mother spent most of her time. However, his smile was wiped off his face at once when he saw an -unfortunately- familiar man at their round table. 

"Mom!" Lucas yelled. "MOM!"

"She's off baking pies with my crazy ex." With that, Dan meant: your mother and Deb are taking a closer look at their statistics and business plan. "I let myself in," he added.

"You _broke in_?" he asked shocked "GET OUT!"

"Word's in town that the major's eldest son got some girl pregnant," Dan began unimpressed by his son's order. "So, which one? The depressing blonde or the easy brunette?"

"Don't call them that," he warned. "Besides, it's _none of your business_."

"God..." he mumbled while rolling his eyes "**Can't you just answer me?!**"

"**It's Peyton!**" Lucas snapped annoyed "Now **get out** and please don't let me r-."

"Calm down, I'm just here to help."

"I don't _need _your help."

"Oh, I think you do," Dan simply objected. "You're seventeen with a baby on the way."

"I'll work s-"

"What about you future? And your child's? Don't be so _selfish_ and let me help out."

"How?_ Money_? Thanks for the generous offer but I d-"

"Yes," he confirmed, cutting Lucas off mid-sentence for the third time _"Money_. I'll see you can go to college and at the same time that the baby is in good hands."

"First of all, the baby will be in good hands with or without you; preferably without you. Secondly, I doubt you'd do this out of the goodness of your heart…what's the catch?"

"I was getting to that; there is none…I just want to be a part of its life."

"Yeah…" Lucas almost laughed "…that'll be the day. If it's up to me, no child of mine will _ever_ know you. It doesn't matter if I'm seventeen or thirty-se-"

"Don't be so GODDAMN pigheaded!**" **he raised his voice before quickly calming down again "Look, you can hate me all you want but just don't let it influence your child's future."

"Why do you _care_? Why do you want to be involved in its future? To make up for your mistakes with _me_?"

Dan gazed down with a hint of guilt because that's precisely what it was; he hadn't been there for Lucas but maybe... he could try to be there for _his_ child.

"You're unbelievable…" Lucas said with contempt plastered across his face. "Just go away."

Instead of protesting, Dan stood up and walked towards the front door yet just when he was about to walk through, he briefly stopped.

"Think about it," he pleaded.

"_Out_," he again ordered.

Finally, Dan trickled. With caution, Lucas gazed through the curtain until his father's car drove away. Although he hated to admit it, there was a truth to Dan's words and somewhere, he was relieved that his father wasn't made out of ice. _Maybe…_ he began to consider but almost immediately suppressed those thoughts. His child wasn't going to be a tool to soothe his father's guilty conscience.

* * *

The next day, as he walked through the halls of Tree Hill High, Lucas' blues almost instantly fell on Peyton, who stood a bit further, leaning against her locker. When he took a closer look, he firstly noticed that she wasn't hiding her bump anymore. Although she hadn't shed her wider rock tees, the Pink Floyd's one that she had on today, hugged her figure instead of drowning it. The second thing that caught his eyes, a skimpy dressed _Rachel_, charmed him a lot less. He couldn't believe it: had all the villains in Tree Hill gathered to discuss how to bring his baby over to the dark side? With rapid, annoyed steps, he approached them. When he reached the two, he coldly glared into the redheads eyes. Apparently, Peyton knew about what had happened between them since she became a bit nervous when he joined them. 

"Lucas," the blonde soothed seeing his death-glare "Rachel has told me about your conversation and-"

"Conversation…" he scoffed and briefly looked at Peyton "you weren't there, she simply tried to break me!"

"Luke," Rachel laughed a bit jumpy "I can explain…"

"I'm curious," the blonde responded, crossing his arms.

"So, I'm actually kind of…into Nathan," she started.

"Alright… " he responded non-understanding. The idea of Rachel hunting his brother wasn't very reassuring but that didn't explain why she was such a bitch last week "what has that got to do with me?"

"When I saw that Peyton and Nathan were getting so close, well…I couldn't let that happen and you know, I had heard about your drama, history, whatever happened between the two of you so I thought you'd get her away from him by getting you jealous and I well" she actually seemed a bit proud "was _right_. But I wouldn't have done it if I knew it was true. Although on the other hand, _you _wouldn't have known a-"

"Rachel…" Lucas shot Peyton an uncomfortable look "you can't play with people like that!" He briefly paused. "And you have a thing for _Nathan_? But he's still in lo-"

"You're right," she quickly cut him off before he spat out the 'Haley'-word "I'm sorry. But Peyton's has forgiven me. I'm her new BFF now that our bubbly cheer captain has dumped her ass…and yours, by the way. Not that I really blame her. Knocking up your girlfriend's best friend is _so_ not cool."

"Rachel!" Peyton cried out. "There's loads of emotional distress going on here, you can't just joke about it and besides, if anyone is my new BFF, _Nathan_ is; he tells me his deepest, darkest secrets," she teased yet her own words slightly hurt her; the topic of best friends obviously reminded her of the green-eyed one she had lost once again.

"Whatever."

Lucas continued to stare bewildered at the red-haired bad influence.

"Oh…" Rachel's infamous smirk began to curl her lips "Look who just arrived."

Without further explanation, she walked off, straight into Nathan's direction.

"She's unbelievable… Haley needs to be warned," Lucas said while looking after her. When he turned back to face Peyton, he noticed a mischievous look in her hazels and slightly frowned. Was Rachel already rubbing off on her?

"So…" the curly blonde began with a smile "I know the baby's sex, it's-"

"No," he quickly cut her off.

"It's a-"

"No."

"Oh, you're doing this on purpose!" she softly tapped his arm. "Normally you always want to know everything about _everyone_!"

"Come on, Peyt, it can't be that hard to hold it to yourself; I _know_ you can keep a secret. Even for over four months," he half-joked.

At once, her eyes shot fire at him. They were doing fine, why did he have to bring this up? However, Lucas wasn't impressed and glared straight into her vexed hazels. For a moment, the blondes just stood there stubbornly, the curly one sending out stabs with her eyes and a pair of blue ones persistently staring back. Yet suddenly Peyton tore her eyes away from him and gazed down at her stomach, placing her hand on top. The baby had begun to move about two weeks ago so to her, it wasn't new or exciting anymore, but she knew it would be to Lucas.

"The baby's kicking…" she looked back up at him "Do you want to feel?"

His response was in the form of a small, surprised nod and a sparkle in his blues. Peyton took his hand and softly lead it to the place where she felt the sensation, which she described as the fluttering of butterflies.

"Peyt…" It was the only word Lucas could gasp out when his palm felt their child move for the first time.

"The kicking is a bit stronger than normal."

"Really?"

"It feels you're not being nice to me," she bantered.

With a soft smile, he looked up into her eyes; his hand instinctively rising from her tummy up to touch her face. Again, the urge to just pull her close and kiss her welled up. It was strange how he felt he _had_ to kiss and _had_ to touch her, as if it were a necessity. This wasn't working, he realized, the 'just friends' thing.

"Well if it isn't Brad and Angelina," a menacing, female voice from the left broke their moment.

Although Peyton had resolved to not let Brooke rule her happiness anymore, she couldn't help but practically _slap_ Lucas hand away from the moment her green eyes looked into hers. However, she wasn't the only one affected by guilt: Lucas quickly batted his blues down upon the brunette's presence.

"I'd worry about burns;" she began "with such parents, that baby will pop out a fire-breathing devil."

The fact that they both shut their mouths annoyed the brunette incredibly: couldn't they say something back? With her attacks, Brooke wanted to make them feel the same pain she did but apparently, she was right all along: their hearts were made of stone and her trying to kick in them only leaded to a foot full of broken toes.

"What is it with you?!? Are you _brain-dead_?!? **Why don't you defend yourselves?**" she cried out with glazy eyes.

"I'm really sorry about all of this," Lucas softly said while slightly nearing her "but I meant what I said back then, I-"

"**Stop! You said it without thinking, as you _do _most things! Don't you see? I have NOONE left! I didn't only lose _you_, I also lost my best f -**" when she noticed people staring and Peyton's slightly hopeful yet guilty eyes she suddenly paused and reprised softly "I lost everyone…God," she sighed out "I feel so _stupid_..." 

Carefully, Lucas stuck his hand out but she backed away as if he were venom.

"_Don't..._ touch me."

His gloomy blues stared after the brunette as she turned around and ran away, to the lavatory.

"I'm going after her," Peyton announced while walking rapidly past Lucas .

"Peyt!" he called her nervously "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Maybe not," she briefly turned around and shrugged "but I have to."

* * *

With a deep breath, Peyton knocked on the red toilet door, where she heard Brooke's silent sobbing. 

"Brooke…it's me," she began.

There was no response so the blonde continued to speak.

"I know an apology from me is probably the last thing you want to hear right now but I'll give you one anyway," she said and took a small pause "I'm sorry, Brooke. How meaningless it may sound right now, I never meant for this to happen. Yes, I love Lucas; I always have but…"

Thinking back, the blonde took a brief moment of silence.

"But what?" sounded snivelling from behind the red door.

Her voice gave Peyton a bit more courage, hope. "I gave him up for you, Brooke. After me and Luke, after we…" she sighed "you know what. Well, I left him alone there, because I was afraid to lose _you_. You've just always kind of been a constant factor in my life and I hate to see you like this and to know…" the blonde took a deep breath "to know we're falling _apart_."

While her hazels began to water, the crying in the cabinet grew louder.

"I know it's wrong of me to desire best of both worlds but I just hope you can forgive me one day…" she spoke out her wish as a tear fell off her face.

A silence now filled the room. After a while, Peyton began to walk away beaten but as she was about to open the bathroom door, Brooke's one opened. The blonde turned back around to stare into a pair of glazy greens.

"I would've given him up for you too," Brooke softly said.

"W-"

"Let me talk," she cut her off.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Lucas, even though I don't like to admit that right now…" she briefly looked down "but somewhere, I could've expected him to pull something like this; he's a guy, a _pig._ But _you_, Peyton? You promised me you weren't in love with him… and I –stupid as I am- I believed you."

"_I_ believed me too," she assured Brooke. "Because I wanted to so, _so,_ badly and I tried Brooke; I tried to bury it with Jake and Jenny but I couldn't. I'm sorry for that."

"Yeah, well," she sighed "but believe it or not, that isn't the thing that hurt me most."

"What do you mean?" What possibly could have hurt her more?

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked "We've been friends since we were **five,** Peyton, and you couldn't even tell me you were _pregnant_! Do I mean so little to you as a friend, that you couldn't even share something that big with me? Yes, I would've been…" she briefly thought and then chose a word that wouldn't even express a thousandth of her wrath "_angry_ since my now _ex_-boyfriend is the father but you know, I would've come around eventually."

"You would've?"

"I say **_eventually_** but… yes," she confirmed. "Going behind me back with Lucas again was low, Peyton. Very low. Like _Rachel_-low."

"I know," she said while briefly bowing her head.

"However… "Brooke continued "all in all, we weren't together, I could've forgiven you. But all these months of lying… Like, you let me comment on your clothes when you were hiding a freaking baby under it! How couldn't you have _told_ me?!?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Yeah…" she sighed. An obvious case of too little too late here.

When the two girls tore their eyes away from each other, another heavy silence filled the room.

"So," Peyton finally touched the silence "where do we go from here?"

"English," the brunette answered a bit simply. "I know what you mean," she quickly cut Peyton, who wanted to open her mouth, off "but I can't tell you that yet. I need to think."

"OK," Peyton accepted with a nod. If Brooke wanted time, she would give her time.

"OK."

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews!

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

The Picture of Dorian Gray. It was one of the last great classic in literature not yet read by Lucas Scott, so he had picked it up at the library a few days ago. However, he didn't like it very much. The praising of pleasure acquired by sins, the deterioration of morality and especially the biting cynicism were almost _upsetting _to him. When he flipped the yellow-colored page, he stumbled upon another sentence that radiated pure pessimism.

_A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her._

What the hell was that supposed to mean? With a troubled furrow in his brow, Lucas glanced at Peyton, who was drawing in her bed. Her tummy was slightly exposed. It was evening and she had already changed into her pajamas- a blue short and matching top- before he had decided to drop by. Since their two almost kisses, about _a month_ ago, nothing much had happened; she had stuck to their friendship-pact franticly.

However, her hormones were all over the place, Peyton knew that. Whenever Lucas came too close, she had to restrain herself from ripping his clothes off and jumping his body, so she kept a three feet distance. At all times. It drove him absolutely crazy. Yesterday he had caught her changing her outfit and decided she was truly the most beautiful pregnant woman he had ever seen. Her skin was glowing and except for off course her tummy but also her visibly grown breasts –really, they had gone up more than a cup size and Lucas couldn't stop staring at them; a blushing Peyton had been forced to ask if he could please leave- she had kept her slender figure. Non-body wise, her beautiful, blonde curls had grown even thicker and flowed over her shoulders; she was simply gorgeous.

He wanted to caress, kiss and make love to her but no… He was in one of her chairs reading a book and pining over her. _Ugh_…He hated to admit it but the 19th century cynic had a point. If he wouldn't have loved her, the fact that he wasn't able to be with her now wouldn't bother him so much. Just like he wouldn't have felt that cold jealousy when he thought she and Nathan were secretly a couple or the day-long pain when she left him.

"Luke, what's wrong?" Peyton suddenly asked, without looking up from her sketch pad. She could almost feel him brood.

"I don't like this book," he somewhat pouted.

"Then don't read it."

"But it's a classic."

"Well…What don't you like?"

"It's cold."

Her sketch pad and pencil were laid aside.

"Read it to me."

"What?"

"Read it to me," she repeated.

"Well…" he seemed a bit hesitant "which part?"

"The part you liked best. Come sit with me."

He rose from his chair and placed himself opposite her on the bed. Before beginning to read, he shortly cleared his throat.

"She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she has genius. I love her, and I must make her love me…"

"That's beautiful," Peyton sincerely said. "How is it cold?"

"Well…" he shortly bowed his head to almost immediately look back up at her "Later on, he leaves the girl he loves without a good reason, without a good explanation. She begs for him to change his mind but he refuses. And then she commits suicide."

A silence followed wherein a shocked Peyton gazed down at her bed sheets. Lucas observed her hands slowly rise to her face before covering her eyes. Then, she began to sob.

"Oh, no, no Peyt…" he quickly crawled over to her. With care, his palms surrounded her wrists and slowly pulled her hands away from her eyes. "It's just a book; it didn't really happen."

"What are you trying to tell me? That you're going to kill yourself?"

"No…" The realization that she had drawn a parallel between the book and them made him smile. It proved their relationship kept her thinking just like it did him. "I wasn't referring to me."

Peyton nodded, but the tears kept rolling off her face.

"Don't cry…" While he brushed the tears of her face, a smile curled his lips. Sometimes-how awful as it was- these emotional mood swings amused him. Today, everything made her sob but yesterday, she almost slapped Haley across the face for picking a strawberry off her plate. It had been kind of fun to see her infamous death glare for something so banal.

"I can't help it," she laughs through her tears. "I'm having trouble controlling my emotions and you make me think you're going to commit suicide."

"Just giving you the heads up," he teased her; shrugging.

Peyton stared at him perplexed. Now that her tears had disappeared, her anger built up.

"Do you think this is **_funny_**?"

Obviously, joking about it hadn't been the best move.

"No?" Lucas carefully answered.

"You're awful! First you get me pregnant and _then_, you laugh at me when what _you _did to _my_ body makes me emotional! **Off my b**-"

Her order was silenced by his lips kissing hers. His one hand brushed her cheek and when Peyton willingly laid her body down, his other began to stroke her thigh. She wrapped her hands around his body; her fingers pushing his back to deepen their kiss and gasped when he buried his face in her neck, showering the skin with kisses. After, her hands –or hormones- began to tug on his belt. It surprised him a bit but _hell_, he didn't mind. If she wanted sex right now, who was he to hinder that? To help her, he briefly rose from her body and took off his shirt. He noticed the birthmark near her shoulder and kissed it softly before his hand eagerly disappeared under her top; his fingers sliding over her arched back and heading to the close of her bra.

"Stop," Peyton managed to order.

"What?" His attention was still completely on the bra so Peyton shuffled her way into a seated position. Softly, she took his face in her hands.

"We need to stop."

"Too soon?" he asked insecurely.

"No…" she shook her head. "It's just…well; my dad's coming home any second and…"

"And what?"

"Look, I've been in love with you for so long but you see we've never, you know…" It was a bit hard to explain "I'm having your baby."

"I can see that." He had to force himself not to look down her cleavage; he knew he was being too much of a typical male right now but luckily, Peyton didn't realize he was referring to her breasts and not her tummy.

'What I'm trying to say is that we never-" when her hand flew up to touch his still bare chest, Peyton got stuck. "Oh..." she softly, almost inaudible gasped out. How could she ever continue her explanation when something this hot was sitting in front of her half-naked?

"Peyton..." He cupped her face but instead of making eye-contact, she kept feeling his body "Do you want to go out on a date?"

This ripped her attention away from his torso. It was what she had been trying to say. Nothing had ever been…normal with them. Instead of having a _normal_ first kiss, they were dared and immediately winded up in a room. When she wanted a normal relationship, she got trapped in a love triangle. One simple night of passion had turned into a baby. Being _normal_, that's what Peyton wanted now, as far as that was possible.

"Yes."

"Tomorrow?"

"Saturday is better."

Lucas didn't know it but Saturday morning, her father was leaving on a three-day business trip. A date then would be perfect; she could bring him back home.

"Seven?"

"Seven's perfect."

Slowly, he leaned over and brushed her lips tenderly. After this kiss, he shortly captured her lips another time. "I love you, Peyt."

They broke apart and Lucas just stared into her hazels where he saw the lust grow.

"Peyton, sweetheart! I'm ho-ooome." they suddenly heard from downstairs. In his haste to pull his shirt over his head, Lucas almost tore it. Immediately, he ran back to his chair and picked up his book. _Saturday. _

_

* * *

_It was Saturday evening and Peyton was watching as Rachel went through her closet only to throw looks of disgust at every garment she stumbled upon. They were going to a quite respected restaurant and even though they probably would both order the cheapest thing on the menu, she didn't want to walk in looking like a slob. 

"So, when's Haley coming?" the redhead asked. Yes, that's right…Haley was coming too. Haley and Rachel. In one room. Over the past months, the ex-Mrs. Scott had restored her friendship with Nathan and was now ready to move onto something more while also Rachel had decided she was past that stage with him too. The two were like cat and dog so Peyton worried more about the two of them being in the same room than her date with Lucas. The blonde had tried to explain that but neither of them had budged; Haley could be stubborn if she wanted too. Especially where it concerned Nathan,

"Oh, you were waiting for me? I'm flattered," a soft voice said. _Uh-oh_. Nathan Scott's love interest number two aka Haley James had arrived.

"I see you've brought clothes! That's so sweet but really… do you think Peyton will fit them? They're like, twice her size!"

"At least they won't make her skin itch, like all your polyester and fake leather. And…" she continues "she can get close to a flame without having to worry about a slutty shirt going up in flames. That's always a plus."

"You're hilarious, _Hales_," Rachel said through her teeth "But just out of curiosity…are your parents like, _siblings_?"

"Why don't you just open your mind and shut your mouth, both are empty anyway."

With each insult, Peyton's eyes grew bigger until something else shocked her even more than this string of put-downs and comebacks.

"Brooke!" she gasped out. "What are you doing here?"

This silenced the two love rivals; they actually shared a look of understanding. Brooke and Peyton together in a room…

"Could I please talk to Peyton in private?" Brooke, packed with about fifteen dresses, addressed Haley and Rachel in a soft voice. They both –yes, also Rachel- listened and went downstairs.

"I heard about your date with Lucas," the brunette began.

"Br-"

"I'm really happy for you."

"You are?"

"Yeah" she sighed and went to lean against Peyton's desk; the dresses she laid next to the computer. "Look… You remember you gave Haley that picture of your ultrasound a week ago?"

"Yes."

"Don't be mad at her but she showed it to me and Peyton, I could see a little baby in there."

"I know…" she softly said.

"And I realized…that child is going to pop out in about three months; you and Luke are going to be parents. I can't hold a grudge. Besides," she continued "I wouldn't want to become some bitter old lady living alone in slippers with like, twenty-three cats to keep me company."

"Does this mean we're friends again?"

"If you'll have me back."

Peyton ran to Brooke and both girls began to cry as they wrapped their arms around each other.

"I've missed you, B. Davies."

"Missed you too, P. Sawyer."

"It's a girl," Peyton said after a while. It was the first time she had told this secret to anyone. Everyone, even her father, had preferred not to know, which irritated Peyton beyond belief. Suddenly, the brunette descended.

"We're going to have so much fun together. You can lone all my cl-"

"What if she has my dress style?"

"We won't let that happen, will we?"

At first her coldness and hate, later her distance and sadness…Peyton had almost forgotten how funny and light-hearted Brooke could be; it made her smile. However, that smile faded at once when they heard a big bang downstairs; Brooke's chocolate hair swept along with the yanking of her head. Quickly, the two girls ran downstairs where Rachel and Haley were fighting on the same spot Lucas and Nathan had about two months ago now.

"Do something," Peyton hissed in Brooke's ear.

"What? Why me?"

"Because I'm pregnant and they're like…pulling each other's hair and biting and _slapping_."

"OK people!" Brooke spoke up and clapped her hands. "You know the saying about the two dogs and a bone...You guys wouldn't want _me_ to run off with Nathan, would you? Because I've totally seen the way he looks at me and I make a good sh- **HELP!**"

_That was the worst strategy ever_, Peyton thought when Brooke had entered the ring, in defense.

* * *

Peyton glanced at herself in the mirror and couldn't believe the wonders the three girls had pulled after they had thrown in the towel. Apparently, Rachel was the best at make-up and hair, Haley at reassuring her all would work out and Brooke's talent was –off course- clothes. The black strapless dress she chose for her friend had an empire waist line which meant it hugged her breasts and then fell down, veiling her stomach. Matching the dress, Rachel had put a black, thin, silk ribbon in her wild curls and had also gone crazy with the 'blackest black' eyeliner; Peyton's hazels simply popped. 

Even though she wasn't ashamed to walk around in public with her baby bump anymore, it felt good to know she wouldn't have to worry about judgmental eyes this evening. Especially because of the dress, no one would be able to guess she's carrying a baby girl.

A knock on the door mean the end of Peyton checking herself out in the mirror. With a deep breath, she walked to the door and swung it open. Lucas' eyes popped-without eyeliner- when he saw her standing in the door opening.

"Y-You look beautiful."

"Thanks…" she said blushing. "You don't look too bad yourself."

It was true. His shirt and tie suited him well; they made a gorgeous couple.

"So shall we?"

_

* * *

_

They stumbled into Peyton's room; her hand wildly hit the wall searching for the light. Reluctantly, she pulled away from his kiss and immediately found the switch. The restaurant had been nice but it hadn't been as anticipated as this.

"Luke, the tie…" Peyton breathed out; he almost choked himself in ripping it off so she did it for him, and also quickly unbuttoned his shirt. As Lucas' hand fell on her back with the intention of unzipping the dress, she suddenly pulled away.

"What?" he asked as he cupped her face.

"My body has changed, Luke. I just, I-"

"Peyt," he cut her off "I've been on this world for a while now…but after all these years, you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said before taking her back into his arms. "You're stunning."

She kissed him deeply before she turned around and held her hair up. Like this, he could easily unzip her dress. When it fell off her body, he just gazed at it for a moment; his eyes didn't make her feel uncomfortable but wanted and admired. While moving to the bed, the remaining clothes were removed and thrown to different sides of the room. Then, in the darkness and half a year after they were caught in the moment and had conceived their baby, they made love again. It was happiness.

_

* * *

_That night, Lucas didn't sleep but it wasn't out of worry or hurt but out of joy. It was the first time in his seventeen year existence that he could say that he was truly happy as he laid naked and tangled with the girl who had ruled his dreams since childhood in his arms. However, while he drowned in bliss, Peyton was apparently drowning in tears. Her back jolted against his chest. 

"Peyt?"

Her tears were revealed when she turned around to face him.

"Hey…" he said; softly running his fingers through her curls "what's wrong?"

"I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not, y-"

"Yes… Yes, I am," she cut him off in a sob "I've hurt so many people, _you_, and I've been so selfish. So selfish…I don't deserve to be with you."

"Peyton, now listen to me," he firmly stated. "I'm not going to pretend like you're an angel; you made mistakes but it's time to leave those behind us."

"But I don't understand that after what I did to you, left you when we shared…_this,_ that you don't hate me."

"I did hate you for a while, but I've never stopped loving you. You're right. You can hurt me and make me the most miserable man in the world, but at the same time you're my happiness. OK?"

"OK."

Relieved and comforted, Peyton turned back around. Their bodies puzzled back into each other; his arms wrapped around her upper body, resting on her waist as her legs intertwined with his.

"I'm never leaving you again," she whispered.

He pressed a kiss onto her curls.

"I wouldn't let you go."

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews and sorry it took me a bit longer than usual to update. Anyway, here's chapter ten; I hope you'll enjoy it!

* * *

CHAPTER 10 

Someone called her name. Once. Twice. Ben? Maybe, but she didn't respond. A woodlouse wasn't exactly one of her top priorities. It was hard for Peyton to grasp that merely a couple of months before graduation, they went on a school excursion to one of Tree Hill's local ponds. Were they about the leave high school or elementary school? Anyway, the little water bug failed where a tall blonde boy succeeded. In a somewhat male movement, Peyton cocked her head as her eyes scanned him. Even with a ridiculous, wide coat and odd-looking glasses, he still managed to be hot. Since they got together a few weeks ago, they have been living in bliss. And in bed. Because Peyton wants to have sex anyplace, anywhere, anytime and that just happens to be the most comfortable place.

"Peyton?" Ben insisted. "Are you writing this down?"

Reluctantly she turned her head her biology partner's. "No, I'm sorry."

Peyton stood up.

"Where are you going?" he asked irritated.

"Ask Lucas for his notes. Back in a minute."

Upon the kiss she dropped in his neck, Lucas' body slightly jolted. With this creepy spider under his microscope, he even had to suppress a yell but he soon realized he wasn't undergoing a spider attack as blonde curls with the light smell of jasmine fell against his cheek. When a pair of soft-pink lips ran over his skin, he softly smiled but kept turning the button to bigger the vision.

"Come with me," Peyton ordered while sliding her hands over his chest.

"Peyt..." he protested "This is a class and besides, I told Theresa I'd watch this thing."

"Where's Theresa?"

Finally, he looked up from his microscope and realized he hadn't seen the brunette in twenty minutes. "Gone."

"Ugh..." Peyton sighed out and pulled him out of his chair, quickly grabbing his notes to give them to Ben "I sometimes don't know why I fell in love with you; you're such a goodie-two-shoes."

Nervously looking back for Theresa or the teacher-biologist, Lucas let Peyton drag him outside, all the way behind a tree.

"They're going to be mad at-" his sentence was stopped by her mouth and he willingly opened his lips under hers "me," he finished when she lowered her head to kiss his neck. "Seriously Pey- oh." _Got it_, Peyton thought. She had made her way up to that sensitive spot near his ear and brushed her lips over it before her hands disappeared under that horrendous white coat. There were no more words coming out of his mouth and he closed his eyes; his hand rose up to the back of her head and he felt her smile pleased against his skin; she knew she had won.

"Peyton..." he sighed out. If he had suggested her to go make out in the woods a year ago, she would've probably slapped him and ran away insulted. Now, she jumped on him any chance she could get; this baby had turned her into horniness in carnation. Just when she had made him completely up for doing it between the hedge hocks and squirrels, they were interrupted by high-pitched screams sounding a bit further.

"What's that?" Peyton asked.

In order to get her mind on the job again, his hand slid under her top but she pushed it away.

"Later. I want to know," she announced while walking away from the oak. "Come."

However, Lucas had to take a few seconds to de-arouse. After he counted to ten and took a few deep breaths, the urge for sex had somewhat vanished and he was able to follow her through the humid ground and green leaves. The shrieking led them to the pond where a crowd was gathered.

"Oh, my God!" Tia cried out. "Haley pushed Rachel in the water."

The blondes made their way through and saw the redhead shivering; her beautiful hair covered with frogspawn and by the looks of it, she would be attacked by a pack of ducks. Echoes of laughter resound through the air until a red-like-a-beet, furious Nathan pushed the mocking teenagers away. Caring, he stuck his hand out; Rachel grabbed it and walked out of the pond with heavy steps. Haley was lightened to death by his blue eyes and with a bowed, ashamed head, she ran away.

When the crowd had disappeared, Peyton was the only one who remained standing by the water. Under her blonde curls, Lucas saw a million-and-one thoughts brooding.

The display she had just witnessed could've given her a good laugh but instead, it broke her heart. Sure, she liked Rachel but Haley didn't deserve this. If she'd see Nathan later on, she would give him a piece of her mind. How could he do this? Why did he chose Rachel over a girl who had made him a better person and connected with him on every single level?

She couldn't help but think back to the time she had showed up at Lucas', with hope and joy in her heart. Those feelings disappeared when her half-naked best friend strode behind him. That was the first time. In the intermezzo, he slept with Nikki and made her feel like she was just one of the many. Then he turned to Brooke another time. The memories they had made together were meant to remind him how much he had screwed up with Brooke. That's what he said before he kissed her. She had to watch and hear it happen; she put on a bright, extremely fake smile and pretended it was alright. But it wasn't.

"Come, Peyt," he said and softly touched her arm.

"Don't touch me," she snapped before leaving Lucas with the killer-ducks.

* * *

When another shiver ran down her spine, Nathan softly laid his hoodie over her shoulders. He had taken her to his car and put the heating on the highest stand. 

"You should probably put on some dry clothes," he said.

"Yeah..." she shook her head and a few little branches fell out. Nathan bit his lips but when they locked eyes and she burst into laughing, he couldn't help but laugh along.

"Those ducks were out to get you."

"They were determined," Rachel confirmed after her laughter had died out.

His head was bowed. The redhead gazed at him; his thick brown hair, those piercing blue eyes and lingering smile and decided to go for it. In a swift motion, she captured his lips.

"I'm in love with you," she admitted as she pulled back. Off course, she had dropped 'subtle' hints concerning what she wanted from him -more than friendship- but she had never explicitly said how she felt about him.

Nathan blinked. What had just happened? Had she kissed him? The moment had gone by too soon; by the time he realized Rachel was kissing him, she had told him she was in love with him.

His fingers slid in her moist, red hair. He looked at her: her beauty but also the nervous movements of her deep-browns , her slightly trembling lip and realized he had Rachel Gattina in her most vulnerable state in front of him. A state he had never seen before with her. If he'd kiss her, he would be one of the first ones -maybe the first- to evoke a feeling with her different from lust. Love. Was he in love with her though? Even now, in this very moment, the petite, pretty brunette with enchanting bambi eyes flashed in front of his eyes. The vision hurt him. So he looked into the equally beautiful browns in front of him, bowed over and brushed his lips against hers. However, it didn't take the pain away; it didn't make him forget.

When she was about to cup his face, Nathan pulled away; he had been in denial long enough, he realized. The vision wouldn't disappear; it had lingered in his mind ever since she had explained the basics of goniometry to him and it would stay there as long as maths existed.

"I can't."

Rachel didn't look surprised. Somewhere, she knew.

"It's OK."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, up to the next one, I guess," she coolly stated. She didn't mean it. She will have to recover from this disappointment.

"You're better than that, Rachel. Really. I could've loved you i-"

"If it weren't for Haley?"

He bowed his head.

"Right," she said with an eye-roll. "Well, I won't hold you up any longer. Go see her."

"I-"

"You can't reject someone as hot as me and then stay alone. That's just all kinds of wrong."

With a faint smile, he stood up and began walking towards the door.

"You're a good person. Special." She bowed her head and bit her lip hoping not to cry. Everything she had ever done was to make herself stand out. However, most labeled her a slut or barbie doll, others a bitch. 'Special' was a first. "And any guy who says otherwise will be facing me," Nathan half-jokingly added. She briefly smiled. Why were the good ones always taken?

"Go."

When he pulled the door behind him, a first tear fell on the floor. Nathan Scott. Her first heartbreak.

Upon stepping back into the nature, Nathan came to stand eye in eye with the girl whose image kept lingering in his mind. Her eyes were filled with tears but he couldn't quite make out if they were out of wrath or sadness. When he remained standing opposite her with a sheepish look on his face, Haley turned around with an angered sigh.

"Haley!" he shouted as he followed her.

"Why are you following me?" she shouted back. "Go back in there for round two."

"I don't want to."

"Why not? You'd expe-"

"I want you..." he said while finally stopping her tread. He could see her anger was disappearing but the sadness remained. "Look," he began "I suppose you've heard about my behaviour when you left. And after, I ignored you...Now Rachel. I know I've been stupid and that I don't deserve you but you have to know that I'm past all of that. I just want to be with you."

"Nathan..." she shrugged. "I can't. I can't put myself out there again like with Rachel an-"

"You don't have to."

"You're right. I don't have to and I shouldn't have. Look Nate," she explained "I made a mistake, yes. But we were _married_; I fought for you for weeks and then you kissed her. I wish I could just, you know, _accept_ your explanation but I just think..." she paused "I just think that would be really bad for my self respect."

"I love you! Don't you love me?"

Her fingers softly rose to his cheek and shortly stroked it. "Off course I do. But I love me too. Maybe this divorce...Maybe it was for the best."

"Haley," he desperately said "I'm so sorry; I know I should've cherished you but I promise I will never hurt you again."

"I'm sorry too." Nathan had never seen her this certain about anything before. She pulled her hand away from his face and walked away. It appeared that -to Haley- their story was over.

* * *

After she had seen Nathan fishing Rachel out of the pond, Peyton had released her wrath on Lucas, who was in complete and utter confusion. Why was she so angry? What had he done wrong? 

The rest of the pond-day, she had avoided him. When he dared to merely look at her, she melted him with her hazels and during the ride back, she had walked straight passed him to plump herself down next to a depressed Haley. Lucas' strategy was to let the blonde cool off. An angry, non-pregnant Peyton he could handle, but approaching her in this state equalled signing his death sentence.

"Peyton?" His head followed the furious girl as she stormed in through his back door and threw her purse somewhere in a corner.

**"Where's that box?"** she yelled. Her face was deformed with anger. Larry-like anger.

"What box?"

**"That box, that 'Peyton'-box!"** she spat out.

"How do you kn-"

**"Brooke told me! Now give it! It has my name, it belongs to me!"**

When she opened his closet, he jumped up. A bad idea because she immediately realized it was there somewhere.

"Peyton," he said in a warning voice "That box is none of your business. It's entirely mine."

Off course she didn't listen. Her arms stretched out to the white box that quickly caught her eyes and she clutched it between her arms.

**"Peyton!"** he now too yelled. **"Give it back!"**

They both tugged at the box but Peyton had the advantage of being pregnant and Lucas didn't want to hurt her or the baby. It was quite easy for her to hold onto it but she still had to get outside. However, there was no way out; he blocked the door so she backed away and threw the lid off.

**"Here!"** she screamed and turned the box around; the content falling all across the floor. **"This is for sleeping with Brooke and Nikki!"**

He could be sad or angry right now but he was mostly completely bewildered and stared at the pictures laying on the floor. The one were they lay together by the bed sat on top, her body resting on his. She was so calm there. He looked up into her fire breathing face. _Not so calm._

**"This is for completely forgetting about me!"** Before Lucas realized what was happening, he was firmly slapped across the face. The sound was comparable with someone falling flat on his tummy in the water and it hurt like hell.

**"And this is for calling me a mistake!"** She put the box on top of his head. It wiggled a bit when he turned his head to the door, where Peyton was heading for.

Her eyes glimmered even heavier with temperament when he put his hand on the door knob faster. Quickly, he also removed the empty box from his blonde locks.

"Let me through," she ordered.

"Peyton, where is this all coming from?"

"Let me through," the blonde stubbornly repeated.

"No. Tell me what's wrong."

**"You want to know what's wrong?"** she again shouted.

**"Yes!"**

**"The problem is that every time something goes wrong between us, you screw the first girl you find!"**

"Pey-"

**"Who says that if I'd manage to get out of this fucking room now, that you won't just do it again? And I'll be left alone with a baby!"**

**"Hey! I did those things because you hu-"**

**"Yes, because I _hurt_ you. But you hurt me too and I didn't immediately jump on some random guy!"**

**"You had Jake!"**

The anger that was splattered across her face just a second ago changed in complete disbelief. How could he compare her relationship with Jake with his Brooke/hot tub adventure or Nikki?

"Unbelievable," she sighed out and again reached for the knob but his hand wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry," he sincerely said. "You're right...I treated you badly. But there's a difference now."

"What? The baby?" she asked in a scoffing voice.

"No. Those nights that I went to Brooke or Nikki, I had lost you. I have you know and I'm not letting you go. Baby or no baby; you're mine either way and I'll do anything to have it stay like that. I've learned from the past."

"But you called me a mistake, Lucas," she cried out with glazy eyes. "It _hurt_!"

"It wasn't the truth."

"You still _said_ it!"

"I've said so many things I didn't really mean," he admitted. "What was I supposed to do? You had Jake, Nathan had Haley and I had no one. Yeah, _Anna_, but she'd rather make out with you than with me," he made a faint attempt to joke. "Then there was Brooke," he continued with a shrug. "She broke up with Felix and I'm not saying that I wasn't in love with her because I was. I had gotten to know her and found a beautiful person."

What the hell was this? Another love declaration? Her hand again tried to remove Lucas' from the door.

"But mostly," he said and firmed his grip "I needed to get into that relationship with her; I needed_ someone _to make me less lonely. That wouldn't have worked out if I had told her I kept that box because I never stopped loving you."

"You still shouldn't have said it."

"Peyt," he began "I was in a dark place back then."

"You didn't come to me."

"Because you had Jake. And I saw that you were happy with him. I've always just wanted the best for you."

"Brooke had Felix."

"I always knew she didn't love him as much as you did Jake. I couldn't get in between you guys, you s-"

"Stop," she ordered and bowed her head.

"Peyt..." he softly cupped her face "Believe me...Other girls don't pale next to you; they disappear."

Tears ran down her cheek while she softly wrapped his arms around him. "I'm scared, Luke. We're too young to be parents," she finally came to the real reason of her outburst. Their future would be hard and their past mistakes only fueled her fear. What if she'd get afraid again. Afraid of commitment? Would he be able to handle her? Would he want to? What if...What if love wouldn't be enough? It hadn't been before.

"I'll be there," he said and pressed a kiss onto her curls. "I promise."

"What if we break up?" she expressed her anxiety.

"Peyt..." he pulled back a bit "We've waited so long to be together. Can't you just, you know...enjoy? "

"B-"

"If you really want an answer...OK, there's always the possibility but it wouldn't be because I didn't love you or because of somebody else. I wouldn't do that to you. But with the way I feel about you I haven't even thought about _breaking up_."

"I don't want to think about it either but we have to be able to. It isn't just about us anymore" she briefly looked down and bit her lip "Aren't _you_ scared? We're having a baby and it's not only that we're young but we're so..._different_ from the rest. I don't know if we'll be good p-"

"We'll be great," he said and softly stroked her cheek with his thumb "And off course I am a bit scared, but I know you'll be there for me like I'll be there for you."

A few seconds, they just stood in the middle of the room, in their hug. Peyton cocooned herself into his arms and lowered her head to rest on his chest.

"You know I love you, right?" she asked, mumbling into his shirt.

"I know."

After a while, they slowly broke apart and Peyton walked to the corner where she had smashed her purse to pick it up. Then she kneeled down by the former content of the 'Peyton'-box and began to put everything back. With puppy eyes and an apologetic smile, she looked up at Lucas who went to sit down next to her.

Together, they put their memories back where they were shielded. They laughed, kissed and almost cried as they went through her love letters, their pictures and the occasional CD. At the end, Peyton opened her purse and pulled out a picture of her ultrasound; she placed it on top. Lucas' glazy blue eyes were answered with a soft smile and he wiped it away with a deep kiss. "I'm so in love with you," he whispered against her full lips and tenderly captured them again.

* * *

It was evening and Peyton was going through her music archive when a deep male voice called her. Walking out of her special spot, she came face to face with Nathan. All the judgmental, maybe _bitchy_, things she had wanted to say to him got stuck in her throat when she saw his sad face and beaten posture. He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her whilst battling against the tears. 

"I've lost her. She doesn't want me anymore."

"Yes, she does," she soothingly objected.

"I told her I loved her and she just walked away."

"You've hurt her," Peyton said "Saying you love her isn't enough; you have to show it. Fight for her."

Then Nathan pulled back and the blonde led him to the bed where she caringly stroke his back.

"Will you help me?" he asked.

"Huh...I don't know," she hesitantly replied "Brooke and Luke know her bet-"

"Brooke called me a dirty pig and when I stopped by Lucas', I saw Haley through the window."

"Oh, so I'm third choice?" Peyton asked a bit insulted.

"Please?" he insisted with a pout and puppy eyes which begged better than Lucas', and that's saying something.

"OK," she sighed out.

He hugged and thanked her before his pretty head began to gaze at the floor depressed. Peyton stared at him uncomfortable; somewhere she wished Haley hadn't gone to Lucas. Like that, she wouldn't have had to deal with this mess; she wasn't very good at handling her own emotions, let alone someone else's. Then she thought back about the night where Nathan had found out about her pregnancy and how he had soothed her. It hadn't been a deep psychological conversation but it had nonetheless helped.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?"

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**: The last one…I really hope you enjoy it!

* * *

CHAPTER 11 

Although it was already the beginning of May, today was the first time Peyton had walked outside and felt the warmth of the sun more so than the cold pre-spring wind. Yet she hadn't taken the time to raise her eyes at the sky to behold the sun or take the singing of birds in. Why not? Because today was also Lucas eighteenth birthday and together with Karen –or mostly _because of_ Karen- she had arranged a surprise party.

However, not only was it a beautiful spring day or Lucas' birthday today but also exactly three months had passed since the blonde had finally fully accepted Lucas in her life and since Haley had cut Nathan out of hers.

Despite her best attempts, Peyton hadn't been able to convince the petite brunette that she belonged with him; even not through Lucas or Brooke, who had began to help him too after a few days of scoffing. Even more: Haley had met a guy and had asked if she could bring him along to the party. Since Karen-somewhat unaware of all the drama- had been fine with it, Peyton now had to worry about Nathan's mental health besides her huge, comparable-with-three-footballs tummy, which had been producing unpleasant sensations all day long.

The room where the party would take place was dimmed with subtle spots on the floor. Surrounded by an army of balloons, Peyton took another one to blow up.

"Damn Sawyer," a mocking voice sounded "that's wrong on so many different levels."

Brooke laughed while Peyton looked up and gave Nathan a death stab with her eyes. However, she had to admit he was sort of right. The red balloon she was filling with air had the same colour as her face and was about three quarters the size of her stomach. She must look laughable.

"Shut up," she snapped. "Why doesn't your lazy ass help instead of ridiculing me and my tortured bod-"

"Sit down," he cut her off. "I'll blow up the rest of those balloons before your head explodes."

Nathan walked her to a chair where she plumped herself down with a puff.

"I can't do this anymore, Nate," she whined. "I'm constantly tired and hurting…and _in a bad mood_."

Brooke and Nathan exchanged meaningful glances. 'In a bad mood' was just 'being a complete bitch' nicely put. The only one who still had some kind of grip on her was Karen and maybe Lucas, but that wasn't much.

"This baby has to come out," the blonde continued "**Now**."

"I read teenage girls usually have their babies earlier. Like a week or something," Brooke announced.

Peyton briefly stared at her friend in utter annoyance. "**Well apparently not me, huh?**" she then shouted.

"Everything OK?" a caring, female voice from the left sounded.

"No…" Peyton dramatically answered. "I'm sick of being pregnant."

"Come on, honey," Karen took a seat next to the blonde and began to soothe her "It can't be very long anymore. Wasn't the baby calculated for May tenth?"

"That's another two days! I'm in so much pain. This thing is constantly kicking and moving and I…" her voice broke "I can't take it anymore. It's the devil!"

"Hey, don't say that. You're stealing my line," Brooke joked.

Upon that, Peyton burst out in crying, an action followed by a 'look-what-you-did'- look form Karen to her fellow female brunette, who mouthed a 'sorry'.

"Ouch!" the curly girl suddenly shouted out and placed her hand on her stomach before continuing her wailing. "Pain."

* * *

After yelling 'surprise!', a kiss and the present, Peyton had escaped outside because inside, it was unbearably hot and she had to constantly suppress the urge to slap everyone who talked to her across the face. Lucas had suggested coming with but she hadn't want him too: this night- which was now nearing its end- would probably be his last one as a 'normal' teenager and she thought he should enjoy it. It's what she would do if she wasn't like Aladdin's chained genie held hostage inside this body. 

"Hey, you," someone tore her attention away from her pain.

"Hi, Haley," she greeted back while watching the brunette sit down.

Quickly, the girl's brown eyes strayed off, staring through the window.

"He's cute," Peyton said after following Haley's gaze.

"Peyton, it's never happening again so m-"

"Damn!" she cut her off; her face deformed with pain as she wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"Are you alright?" Haley asked concerned. "Should I-"

"Don't worry, it's been like this all day" she sighed and ignored the fact that her physical distress was getting worse with every second that passed. "But anyway, I meant Jack. Not Nathan."

"Oh. Yeah, _Jack._ I guess he's alright."

"Such enthusiasm! I might faint," she sarcastically said and bit her teeth in order not to shout when another aching feeling went through her abdomen.

The comment was meant jokingly but Haley bowed her head. She had met Jack two months ago at Karen's Café and today was their first date. He was a nice guy and to tell the truth, she had hoped he would have gotten her over her ex-husband but unfortunately, compared to him Jack was an insect battling an eagle. However, it wasn't only him. Every boy sank a mile under the pedestal she still had Nathan on and it was quite depressing to realize she had rejected someone, probably _the One_, who no other guy would ever live up to.

As Peyton was about to soothe her, the sky began to carry the tones of Eric Clapton's 'Tears in Heaven' all the way outside. Every time she heard the guitarist sing about meeting his passed, five year old boy in heaven, Peyton had to fight the tears. The song -together with heart wrenching lyrics and beautiful, sad melody- brought her the image of Anna, which then reminded her of the fact that her daughter would grow up to never know her grandmother. With a cross of nostalgia and sadness, she bowed her curls along with Haley's brown locks. Physically, she handled her pain by clutching her stomach with every pain wave.

Then a figure slid down beside her, providing her a strong arm around her shoulder. As soon as the first sound of Eric Clapton's guitar string had left the box, Lucas had left to room to look for Peyton. The blonde turned her head and pressed her mouth against Lucas'. "I'm so lucky to have you," she whispered against his lips. Both closed their eyes while he tenderly kissed her once more. His arm slid around her waist as she nestled herself against his chest.

"I'm tired, Luke."

He pressed her a bit closer to him; he knew the last days were weighing heavy on her, emotionally and physically. Not long after Lucas dropped a kiss on Peyton's curls, Haley stormed away in a soft whimper. The blondes pulled apart to look at each other with guilt.

"Follow her," Peyton said. "I'll be alright," she added when he seemed hesitant.

He smiled and gave her another quick kiss before running after his friend. When he found her crying further on against a wall, he just wrapped her tiny frame into his arms.

"I thought I could live without him," she said between sobs. "But I was wrong and now it's too late!"

"Come on, Hales. You know as well as I do that he'd take you back even if he were sixty-five, married and father of ten children."

The brunette pulled back and gazed at him with glazy eyes.

"Not that I would approve," Lucas added with a smile. "Just go in there and tell him you love him."

Before she was able to give in, they heard the hysterical clicking of high heels and a panicky raspy voice sending shrieks their way.

"What?" the blonde shouted at the nearing brunette.

"HER WATER BROKE! SHE'S HAVING THE BABY!"

* * *

Series of complaining groans and whining moans left rooms across the whole floor, with Peyton on top. The blonde had been in her hospital bed for twenty-one successive hours and nine different nurses without a lot of progression. 

On the other hand, all selflessness had left her body and right now, her friends and father were beholding the blonde in her most egoistic form. She had demanded to have someone at her bed at all times and when that hadn't been the case three hours ago, when Brooke had to go to the bathroom, she refused to speak for an hour, until the position of her pillow had to be adjusted for the hundredth time and when Nathan had brought her Led Zeppelin IV instead of II, she had thrown the CD in a corner and stubbornly turned her back at him. He had officially gotten scared then: Peyton Sawyer not treating her music with utter care equalled apocalypse.

"**Turn that thing off!**" she suddenly yelled.

"But Peyt, I especially bou-"

"**Off!**"

Biting his lip and taking a deep breath to stay calm, Lucas pushed the 'stop' button of the relaxation-music tapes. What Peyton wants, Peyton gets, right?

"Do you want one of my books? I've br-"

"No."

"TV?"

"**No.**"

"Maybe we should try something from the birth preparation course," he tried while reaching for her hand.

"**NO! NO! NO!**"

"Well," he began vexed 'you're being very-"

"**How dare you take that tone with me? Do you know how this feels? For the last twenty hours, I've been in agonizing pain. I'm exhausted like I've climbed the Mount Everest and _you_ get irritated when I don't want to listen to your freaking Vivaldi?**"

"No, I-"

"**You selfish, _selfish_ boy**. **Where's my dad?**"

"I don't kn-"

"**I want my dad!**"

"I'll get him," he quickly said and stood up but she grabbed his arm and pulled him down again.

"Then who's going to stay with me in the meanwhile?"

"I'll just be two minu-"

"No."

"But P-"

A water fall of tears began to leave her eyes when she didn't immediately get what she wanted and she began to remind Lucas of one of those spoiled brats on my Super Sweet Sixteen. Yes, she might be tired, but for the past two and a half hours, he had been walking backwards on feet and hands to give her what she desired and she still wasn't happy.

"**Dad?!?**" she shouted while sobbing. "**Daddy!**"

Quickly, her father stood by the other side of her bed. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"Lucas is being mean to me!"

"Why are you being mean to my daughter?" he addressed the boy sitting opposite with a non-understanding frown.

"I'm n-" he began but stopped when he realized arguing with two Sawyers was the same as wasting your breath. "I'm going to get something to eat."

He bowed over Peyton and kissed her forehead but quickly pulled back, afraid to get slapped or something similar. After a few steps in the corridor, he heard 'poppa Sawyer' as Brooke occasionally nicknamed him, also undergoing a verbal attack.

* * *

"It's your turn," Brooke and Haley simultaneously cried out when Lucas showed up in the waiting room. 

"Larry's with her," the blonde quickly set them at ease. It was the first time in over fifteen hours that the whole gang was here; usually someone was always at home to freshen up before coming back.

"Thank God," Nathan sighed out. "Like, did anyone ever see Xena?"

"Huh?"

"Xena, the Warrior Princess."

"Yeah," Lucas said while his childhood friend nodded. The exchanged a look and laughed as they recalled how they would roll-play and how Haley always ran away screaming when Lucas wanted to kiss her like Ares kissed Xena on TV.

"She's being like her but before she became good. Pure evil." Nathan nodded to give his statement some additional power.

"That isn't true," Haley laughed.

"It is," the dimpled brunette confirmed. "I've known her for over ten years but I've never seen her like this. She's capable of killing right now."

"Well, I feel sorry for her," Haley insisted. "She's been in there for almost a day."

As soon as she had spoken out her sympathy, Larry came sauntering into the room, completely stressed and gazing wildly around him, like a wounded deer trying to find an escape. He plumped himself down with the teenagers but didn't say a word; his eyes staring into nothing.

"Are you OK, Mr Sawyer?" Nathan asked a bit worried.

Slowly, he turned his head to the questioning voice. "I'm not going back there," he then said. "Unless it is with an exorcist."

"Is someone with her?" Lucas asked.

"No."

"You left her alone? Someone has to go immediately!" the blonde exclaimed in a panicky voice.

"Not me," Brooke quickly said.

"Me neither."

All eyes were now fixed on Haley who had seemed most understanding of her irrational behaviour. "I'm scared," she softly admitted.

Lucas took a deep, preparing breath and disappeared again out of the waiting room, into the lion's den for his second, successive 'Peyton' shift.

"I'm going home; take a shower. I'll be back," Brooke announced and stood up.

"I'm getting a coffee." Larry also left his chair and mumbled 'God knows, I need it.'

An uncomfortable silence rushed into the waiting room.

"Lucas must really love her to go back in there," Haley touched the silence. "I mean, if she's really being that awful…"

"Yes. Yes, he does love her," Nathan confirmed a bit simply.

They locked eyes before fixing them on their feet.

"Look, Nate," Haley then said as she suddenly sat herself down next him "I…I was wrong. I thought it would be for the best to go our own ways but since I walked away from you, I've been feeling so miserable, like I've lost a part of myself and…" she took a very small pause before continuing to ramble" It's not only that I love you but I really _need_ you. I don't feel like me without you and I might also sound a bit Atomic Kitten now but…But I know you can make me whole again. "

She tried to estimate the pair of surprised blues in front of her and continued.

"My point is just that ummm…I miss you and I'd like us to try again; if you want. Because off course, i-"

Finally, she was silenced when he captured her lips. They pulled back but as he wanted to tell her that he loved her but she just kept pulling his mouth back against hers. After a couple of times of trying to declare his love, he just gave in and they made up for almost a year of not kissing each other right there in the waiting room.

* * *

With sad eyes and a pout, Peyton stared at the scared blonde boy by the side of her bed. Now that she had done the impossible and somewhat gotten used to the incredible pain, she realized how much of a fury she had been for the past hours. Between the contractions, which were following each other at a quick rate now, she softly stuck her hand out and cupped his face. 

"Sorry."

"It's OK," he accepted her apology and took her hand off his cheek to intertwine it with his.

Ear-deafening screams suddenly left both blondes mouths when an extremely painful labour pain took a hold of Peyton's body.

"I'm going to get help!" Lucas yelled while trying to free his hand.

"**You're not going anywhere!**"

Peyton howled, swore and mashed his hand hysterically while Lucas loudly cried for help. It took less than ten seconds before a few nurses and Dr Williams ran into her room and bowed over the curly girl.

Slowly, the pain left Lucas now freed hand and he was able to concentrate. He looked at her, this crying, cursing, coughing girl and had never loved her as much as he did in this second. And never found her more beautiful. She was so real as she fought to bring their child into this world.

"Come on, Peyton, **push**!" the doctor ripped him out of his thoughts.

"I can't!" she cried out between doing what she asked. "I'm tired."

"We know b-"

"Luke, get my coat, I want to go home!"

Then one of the nurses did something which made him realize maybe she hadn't overreacted. Or at least not as much as he had thought. The brown-haired woman threw herself on Peyton's stomach and pressed it.

"The baby can't do it himself. He needs help," the doctor answered Lucas' questioning stare.

Then finally, they pulled their child out and immediately left with it to do God-knows-what. Peyton was immediately taken care off while the doctor assured Lucas nothing was wrong; that the child was simply exhausted and that they were going to do a quick check up.

After ten of the longest minutes of their lives, the same brown-haired nurse who had helped bringing their baby into this world, walked up to them to offer them their child, wrapped in a pink blanket. Lucas instinctively stood up while Peyton tried to sit up more straight. Maybe a bit contrary to what she had expected, a heavy motherly feeling overwhelmed her. She smiled lovingly at the little soft-pink person, which now already had a few plucks of blonde, wavy hair.

"Say hi to your daughter," the nurse grinningly addressed Lucas.

His breath almost stopped as he saw that tiny, moving thing nearing with those chubby arms and miniscule fists. What did he know about holding a baby? What if he'd hurt her? He didn't spoke his worries out loud and took his baby ever so carefully, as if she was made out of porcelain.

'Happiness' wasn't the right word for what he felt in that moment because 'luck' and 'happiness' are tangible. Holding his daughter in his arms for the first time, everything seemed surreal and transcended all earthly feelings. The world stopped turning and it was as if, even if only for a few seconds, there was only him and this little human being. All the banalities, the numerous debacles with Dan –last week about some kind of alimony he had wanted to give them- and the trouble in the past with Nathan…It all seemed so meaningless now.

He slowly handed her over to Peyton.

"Hi," the blonde greeted her. "Luke, she's so little," she then said as she gazed down at the baby in her arms and again smiled at the fluffy blonde curls on her daughter's head. Lucas took the small, soft baby hand into his.

When Peyton looked up at him, her eyes instantly grew glazy. It was all so unreal. Who could've thought that this boy-almost road kill because of her- would turn out to be the father of her child? Up until two years ago, she had never spoken a word to him. She found him as interesting as a bug. Really, he was just there as her boyfriend's outsider- half- brother, pining over her with his squinty light-blue eyes. But he turned out to be so much more than that.

He on the other hand felt more proud than touched. Proud of the person Peyton Sawyer had become with his help. Off course he realized she would always have her edge – she wouldn't be the girl he fell in love with without -but after he had ripped his eyes away from his baby, he saw softness in her hazels that he doubted would ever go away.

He brushed her tears away. "I love you," Peyton said before Lucas moved his mouth closer. Then they shared a kiss loaded with so much love that they were sure never to feel anything like it again while Peyton held her daughter close. "I love you too," Lucas whispered before brushing his lips against hers again. Caught up in the moment, they only pulled back when the little thing under them began to move unquiet.

Very softly, Lucas dropped a little kiss on her slightly turned up, mini-nose and felt the urge to cuddle the baby girl senseless when a somewhat protesting sound left her little red-pink lips. Then she opened her eyes to show him how identical they were to his and although Peyton's hazels were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, Lucas hoped the blues he was looking into would hold that colour. Because it was his. "Oh, Peyton," he sighed out. He kissed her again and then, for the second time, this baby made him cry. But this time, they were the happiest tears of his life.

They named her Isobel Anna Scott. In the days that followed, her father didn't leave her side but smothered his baby girl with attention. He could be in the middle of a conversation but when nurse Grace announced Isobel was getting her bath, Lucas spurted behind her. He would blabber endlessly to the patient lady about his offspring, which the middle aged woman thought looked like one of those chubby angels you find on antique ceilings, minus the wings. If he took a second off from his daughter, very rarely and mostly when she was asleep, he cuddled up next to Peyton.

In the middle of all this, Peyton couldn't help but worry about Brooke, whose mask had briefly fallen off when she had somewhat sadly let slip out Lucas had finally found someone he loved more than her. They had tried about how _Brooke_ felt about all this but were interrupted by the baby's crying; she was hungry and needed her mother. With a million-and-one feelings and thoughts running through her mind, the brunette had watched how Peyton took care of her child.

In that moment, Brooke had also felt the sudden urge to hold her and when Isobel opened her eyes to gaze at her surprised, she saw the purest crystal-blues she had ever witnessed. Although maybe that would be a lie. She _had_ witnessed that particular colour and shape before. On one boy. Off course that wasn't easy but in the end, she realized she couldn't do anything but accept. Life goes on and the person she was holding was the finest example of that.

Brooke Penelope Davis had had the -to her- questionable honour of watching the romance of Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer and Lucas Eugene Scott evolve. She watched him try to conquer her heart and have his broken only to break Peyton's. She unwillingly experienced how they kept being drawn to each other when they couldn't; how they lost but found each other back and the way she _felt_ her already fragile heart being shattered, not when he told her she was pregnant but when she realized that the same way Jake had never meant as much to Peyton, she had never stood a chance with Lucas against the blonde.

Finally, to round off the story, how despite beholding his unconditional love for the two curly girls, the last pieces of _her_ heart are also being glued together again. It makes her feel relieved and hopeful because as she looks around her and sees Haley kiss Nathan or Lucas cuddle Peyton, she realizes she deserves and wants that too. Someone to swap hearts. And she knows that special one is there for her. A soul mate. A boy she'll go through fire for and who would do the same for her.

There could be troubles along the road after she would find this love but if he was true, they'd come out together. Because if there's anything she has learned from watching her friend and her ex, it's that despite adversity, painful goodbyes and awkward love triangles, what's meant to be will _always_ find a way.

* * *

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So …That's all, folks:) I hope you like the name I picked and thanks for all the amazing reviews. Also, to all the BLers who read my story: I really admire you guys lol. Personally, I wouldn't be able to read a BL fic so you guys are stronger than me. Respect :p


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